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Rather than 3 meals break the meals into many smaller ones.
for example for breakfast if there is juice, cereal and maybe a fruit break that into cereal first with the juice. An hour later some fruit. A few hours later you can start with a portion of yogurt then an hour or two later a sandwich then mid way between lunch and dinner some fruit.
Always in between fluids.
I am not one to say water is the only fluid you should push.
If you can't get someone to drink 16 ounces of water but they will happily drink 16 ounces of Iced Tea I think that is a win in my book. Same with juice. but since juice and ice tea are usually higher in sugar dilute them a bit and you can dilute them a bit more each time so the flavor is there. Back off on diluting when they no longer drink it.
Leave out items that could be a "free food"
Lots of fruit, arranged in a basket or bowl.
As for snacking make it a process.
Before you eat Wash your hands, get a plate or a bowl, a glass of water or other drink and sit down at the table. All this so it is not "mindless" eating.
And you sitting down watching, talking and slowing her down also does one other important thing.
You observe if she is :
pocketing food,
not chewing well
choking
These three things happen and they show a decline and getting to the point where choking, aspiration may happen and that can lead to many complications.
41.9%
According to 2 sources
"Based on data collected between 2017 and 2020, 41.9% of adults in the U.S. have obesity.
Obesity Statistics In 2024 – …
forbes.com
Percent of adults age 20 and older with obesity: 41.9% (2017-March 2020) Source: National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey 2017-March 2020 Prepandemic Data Files".
Given that over 40% are obese (at least according to this study), the answer to your question "Is it normal to overeat" is likely that it is perhaps becoming more normal. Happily you tell us your Mom isn't overweight. Sounds like she's been doing something RIGHT, then.
Kudos for feeding mom good food! I agree that the money you are spending is crazy high! So is her only money tied up in the house? If there's anything else, cash it in and spend it on the food and other household bills. You should basically be spending next to nothing while caring for her, IMHO.
Can you distract her to keep busy with things other than eating? Go for a walk or a drive or something? Try to get her to drink more to fill her belly - water or coffee/tea, not sugary stuff. Sometimes people can mistake thirst for hunger. My mom is horrible at drinking so I know this can be really hard.
Household chores, even if they're of the "make work" variety. Cutting veggies. Folding (and refolding) towels. Sorting something. Gotta find something to keep her hands busy!
Good luck!
I found it interesting that my mom really wasn’t very hungry. She would say that she only ate food because it was required to live. She didn’t have much of an appetite.
She needed to gain weight and her doctor would tell her to eat as much ice cream as she wanted to.
Others live to eat. They enjoy food. They relish every bite they take. Has your mom always enjoyed eating?
Some people eat when they are bored, angry, upset, depressed, stressed, happy or to celebrate something, etc. It’s often referred to as emotional eating.
As a side note, if you would like to vent on the forum, without making a post of your own on the forum, you can vent at, My “whine moment today.” What’s yours?
It’s in the Discussion section of this forum. Do a search for it. The thread has been going on since 2014 and over 30,000 comments. People are always venting on this thread about all sorts of topics.
As you know, if you post your own thread, you are going to open the door up for everyone to respond.
Some you will appreciate. Others you may not. I am sure that you realize that it’s impossible for everyone to agree on all things.
One thing that I always told my children when they complained about a teacher that they didn’t like was that they didn’t have to like her to learn from her.
If they had a legitimate reason not to like her, then I investigated further.
Otherwise, I felt that they needed to learn how to manage in a world filled with many different personalities.
We don’t all have to agree with each other all of the time. I certainly don’t expect everyone to agree with me on everything and I know that I won’t agree with everyone else on everything. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go round, right?
Everyone is watching their budget these days.
I will share some of my favorite recipe sites with you. Look them over and you might see something that you want to cook. They are all geared for making good food while spending less.
budgetbytes.com
thefrugalchef.com
frugalnutrition.com
cleananddelicious.com
spendwithpennies.com
One issue is that people who snack between meals have a lot more trouble avoiding over-eating and getting fat. I was brought up on ‘meals only’, and I never snack, no biscuits, no sugary drinks. ‘Snacks’ are also usually expensive high-calorie purchases, less normally home cooked, so that’s another problem. I’ve been startled to see people picking up kids from school, and immediately giving them packets of junk food to eat in the car. A lock on the fridge might help? No biscuits in the cupboard?
The other issue is that traditional Aboriginal people in the Australian center are reputed to have had a modified anatomical ability to consume quite large quantities of food and water when it was available, and go without for several days when it wasn’t there. You don't get three meals a day when you are walking across a desert! There’s a description of two men cooking and eating a kangaroo at a sitting (about like eating a whole fully grown sheep), and of explorers’ parties in camps having to guard the water store to make sure it could last for everyone. The body doesn't say 'stop'. Today most older women particularly are well over-weight as a result.
It might be interesting to find out how your mother was brought up, not just about what to eat, but also when to eat. It might be part of her problem.
I've wondered if it's better to graze, like I do. Not sure, maybe it's just my metabolism
I have friends that go, and they truly are great. So much better than when we were younger, no one looks down on you. Some people go that don't need to, which is wrong but a lot of the food is going to be thrown away. I was at Hannaford one day and the bakery had a cart full of stuff, I was looking in it and they said it was for the food pantry. My thoughts where, I wanna go to the food pantry.
Good luck with all that roger
Also what about meals on wheels for your mom.
Your mother needs to contribute to the shopping as she would were you not there.
As to the other, when, where and what she cares to eat, that's entirely her own business unless she's terribly overweight. She has very few choices left in her life, and this is one that should be her own business.
It sounds as though you are becoming enmeshed. I think it is quite important that you find placement ASAP and this has just become sort of one complaint after the other.
Too much togetherness is never a good idea for ANY two people.
I had the opposite problem with my mom. She was a nibbler. She took a few bites here and there. She was never a big eater and lost her appetite further as she aged.
I am curious as to why you are buying all of the food. Your mom should be spending money for groceries.
Your mother could just be bored. Have you tried finding activities to keep her mind busy(coloring, making puzzles, playing cards etc.)so she won't be thinking about food?
Just some food for thought(pun intended.)
Like we have talked about , they really do slowly turn into are kids, and then are babies. We go out of this world like we came in, I guess is true.
Anyways, what if you give her a really big meal and fill her up, does she still want more? I was thinking of things for breakfast that stick to the gut better. Like oatmeal, if she likes sweets you can sweetin it up with sugar and fruit. Beans and lentils stick with you too. Baked beans maybe.
I've been noticing my mom is putting on a little, and eating a lot. And she has always been thin, so I'm curious what others will say.