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This is a terribly sad situation for you and your brother.
Your brother needs someone to care for him. Yet, you cannot be expected to care for him 24/7.
I wish that he would be grateful for your support and your interest in caring about his needs.
I suppose that he has the right to refuse help at night. You have the same right not to want to care for him 24 hours a day.
We continue to see posters claiming that their family members do not want outside help.
I’m someone who advises family members to push back. Why should the family members be required to do all of the caregiving?
I know that it isn’t always a simple fix. People are stubborn and contrary. They don’t want to spend money on outside help and so on. Sometimes, they have dementia and cannot be reasoned with.
I would suggest that you call Council on Aging in your area. Ask them to do a needs assessment on your brother. Ask them what they recommend for future care. Make sure that you tell them that you are not going to be available for him 24/7.
Best wishes to you and your brother.
If he's been paralyzed for years, he is probably on SSDI and Medicaid already. Which means he'd have a social worker assigned to his case. I'd call this social worker and report what's going on and your concerns for him.
If he's now in advanced years (65+) it is possible he could be having cognitive decline, which is affecting his ability to make rational decisions for his care. Or, maybe he has all his cognition and has the right to refuse care.
If he doesn't have a DPoA or legal guardian, the most you can do is contact his caseworker or report him to APS as a vulnerable adult.
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