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Hope & Jamie, I am always curious why so many Step-Moms ignore the grown children of her husband. Did everyone get off on the wrong foot? Especially if Dad left Mom for this woman. Or if Mom passed, Dad married quickly. Someone needs to be the first to hand over the olive branch to try to get into the good graces of the Step-Mom if it isn't too late.
You always have the right to involve Adult Protective Services, but you need to have some proof he’s actually being emotionally or physically abused and that his wife is truly a “psychopath” or if that’s just your opinion because you’re angry and don’t like her. If you’ve had no contact for almost 20 years, you haven’t really witnessed how she treats him. APS is bound to investigate, but unless they actually see signs of abuse, they’ll write it off as a war between the families and they won’t get involved. If Dad is being well cared for, safe, clean and reasonably happy, they won’t get involved. If the place where he’s living is a mess and so is he, then you might have grounds. If that, God forbid is the case, are you prepared to go to court for guardianship of him? If he’s mentally impaired, will you or someone else in your family take over his care at one of your homes or finance his placement in a facility?
You and your family can always consult with an Elder Law Attorney to see if you have any rights. If Dad is impaired, you might have a case. But if he is of sound mind and agrees with the way his wife is handling things, there probably isn’t much you can do.