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https://www.legalshield.com/blog/estate-planning/4-types-power-attorney/
From your description, it sounds like you have a springing POA.
Since your mother is not incapacitated, how about having her sign a new general and durable POA?
No, banks aren't a problem with the correct documentation.
It is against the law to IGNORE a correctly drawn general financial POA.
If the bank refused the POA THRERE IS A GOOD REASON THEY DID so.
As you may imagine banks are protecting their client's accounts. Often (sorry here) from their own children who are trying to make off with their funds.
You will need the correct paperwork.
You are POA.
When my brother first got Lewy's (probable early by symptoms) he and I had to do all the paperwork with his attorney. I was so clueless at that point I thought one document worked for POA and Trust. Didn't know I had to be made Trustee. It was a long learning curve for me and I came here almost 5 years ago quite desperate.
As far as banks were concerned I could be a wicked sister swooping in on my brothers substantial accounts and trust. Why would they not protect him? They are sworn by law to do so. We finally got such a good Trustee and POA drawn up that it was iron clad. This takes an attorney.
Your POA pays for EXPERT ADVICE OF AN ATTORNEY.
Get it.
The Attorney will come to a Nursing home, a Hospital, or anywhere else. It will however have to be paid for and the POA pays for it.
The attorney will let you know how best to get the correct documentation and POA drawn up.
This is not going to be inexpensive.
I wish you luck in getting this together. This isn't going to be a DIY project.
Unfortunately an attorney now has to attend your mother to get a general POA done by her specifically saying what you need said: that she wishes you to act now as her general POA and to be added to her accounts as such, and that you have also the powers------blah blah blah, whatever powers you want added.
This is easily if expensively done.
When my brother was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's Dementia by symptoms he called in his attorney and this was done. The attorney simply made an examination that this was my brothers wish due to his diagnosis and prognosis, and that he currently was too anxious to manage his affairs and etc. Whatever language is required the attorney will know it.
A POA is only as good as the very specific language in it. That language should make it clear that you are to be added to all bank accounts, and all stock certificates and other things as the POA for both (Dad's name) and (Wife's name).
My brother died of sepsis before he could descend fully into incapacity. Nevertheless, in the year and one half after his diagnosis I did EVERYTHING from accounts, to being made by him also Trustee of his Trust, to all his bills, and etc. This can be done. But you need an attorney and likely one who will visit and examine your Mom for competency to make this important decision.
I always like telling how the attorney told my brother, who was making me POA and Trustee "Are you sure about this woman, because you have given her power over every penny you have. She can now sell the gold out of your teeth if she wishes to". So expect that sort of thing. Your Mom will also be questioned by the attorney out of your presence.
When Mom gets out of the Rehab you take her and the incompetent letter of Dads to the bank and have her add you to their accounts. That will give you access to their accts when needed. Then u take her to her lawyer and have her POA changed to immediate and if Dad is her POA, remove him and assign you. You can do nothing with Dads because he is not able to make informed decisions. Before you go to the bank, talk to an officer and ask what Mom needs to make it possible for you to help her. I would set up an appt.
Can you negotiate a Zoom call with the bank, you and your Mom?