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For my grandfather, I just told him that the hospital wanted to send a Nurse to check his blood pressure for a few days. But before her 4th visit, he said he didnt wan't her to come by that day (he wasnt quite used to the idea of someone coming in his home so much), so I told him that she just wanted to visit him to say "hello" for a few minutes because she liked him so much. It worked.
When my mother, in a nursing home, would start fussing about checking the fridge and figuring out what to make for dinner, I would tell her, "Great news, Ma! You are retired now, and someone else figures out what to serve for dinner, cooks it, and does all the dishes afterward! You've earned your retirement. Enjoy it!"
"You are retired" seems much more acceptable than "You are incapable."
My aunt had absolutely no short term memory. Her daughter arranged for 3 shifts of women to stay with her. And at each changing of the shifts Auntie though the woman was just there for a visit. "Oh Mary! How nice of you to drop in. I just made some coffee and let's see if I have any cookies. Come and talk in the living room." If your wife's memory loss allows you to present the worker as a visitor, that might help. (It certainly wouldn't work in every situation.)
Is your wife very agitated by change in general? Is she on any meds to help with that?