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I purchased a commode and have placed it right next to her bed with supplies: toilet paper and wipes.
Mom had a tendency to come out of her room at night walking around in the dark. I found a door alarm on Amazon for $11. I tell mom every night that she must use the commode in her room and not to open the door during the night while it's dark out or the alarm will go off. I purchased commode liners that make cleanup the next morning easier.
I have a baby monitor in her room so I can hear her at night. Also purchased a small portable camera that I will be able to see her in her room as soon as I get it set up with wifi.
So far this has worked for her but as everyone knows it may not last as the disease progresses.
She also gets a sleeping aid prescribed by her doctor. I give her melatonin, valerian extract and a CBD capsule about 1-2 hours before bed.
Sending good thoughts to you!!
And from what I was told if you turn lights on it upsets the effects of the melatonin. So if she is getting up and turning on the lights the melatonin is probably not going to be as effective.
It sounds like what she needs is closer monitoring in the bathroom. but that would start from when she gets up. A bed alarm might work so that you would know when she gets up. (I would use a floor alarm so that it would go off when she places her feet on the floor) A bedside commode might be easier and you would not have her trying to brushing her teeth and washing her face.
Nonmedical issues to address:
1 - no caffeine (coffee, tea, soda) after lunchtime. Caffeine is a diuretic and can cause excess urination.
2 - diuretics in the morning only - as much as possible. Usually diuretics are for blood pressure or heart failure clients that need help getting excess fluid out of the body. Generally, they make you pee about an hour after being taken.
3 - toilet training. The goal is to create a schedule for urination and bowel movements. Usually, the person is encouraged to use the bathroom every 2 hours while awake. Ask her doctor if she needs physical therapy for bladder training.
4 - You are already working on sleep medication. Help her to the restroom every 2-3 hours while you are trying to find a sleep medication that works for her. I like Benadryl 25-50 mg at bedtime (usually 10 pm) for most seniors. Talk to your doctor about trying this medication before just giving it to her.
5 - Make sure to over-prepare the environment. My husband recently had prostate removal for cancer. While he is undergoing bladder training, we have found this useful:
Pad the bed with "puppy pads"
Use heavy duty Depends for overnight use
If need be add an overnight incontinence pad inside the Depends to catch initial urine flow and the Depends will catch the remainder.
Help her to the bathroom every 2-3 hours to pee (while she is getting used to the sleeping medication). My husband can usually sleep for 3 hours before the "urge to go" has him getting up.
6 - There are medications for bladder spasms that may help her feel less urgency.
*steamcleaner for pet urine
*Caregiver to help keep issue reined in for part of day.
*More patience then is normally given out at Sunday church.
Good luck to you!
I completely understand your situation and frustration.
There can be other reasons for the her problems. Her muscles have weakened and she just can't hold it. Seems since she is confused, Dementia could be setting in and her brain doesn't tell her she needs to go. Has she had any blood work done recently?
"The culprit in coffee and tea is caffeine. It can increase bladder activity and result in exacerbated symptoms , including higher urgency and frequency of urination, as well as increased incontinence."
With me, diet sodas make me go. I guess regular sodas would too, they both have caffeine. So cut down on the caffeine and take Mom to the bathroom every couple of hours. No liquids maybe an hour or two before bed. Allow her to sit on the toilet for a while. She needs to void as completely as possible. Maybe a commode in her room?