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Let's see - the drug is for early stages; your mother is in a late stage. So why would the nurse be suggesting that drug?
We've stood up to more than a few doctors who wanted either my father or I to "just try it." If they persisted after I explained the specific drug (a) had been documented to create certain side effects, (b) was the subject of class action lawsuit (c) had been taken before and caused side effects....then we moved on and found another doctor.
Perhaps you could ask this nurse what would be more appropriate for your mother's stage of dementia, rather than an early stage? Read up for yourself what the side effects are, and if you feel up to it, get the technical information on the chemical structure and compounds to determine if anything in it is also an ingredient in the drug that caused problems. Or ask the nurse that question.
And what are the side effects of the drug he's recommending?
If you're uncomfortable, stand your ground. Late stage Alzheimer's is difficult enough for the patient without experiencing a drug reaction.
Now Im sorry if this offends anyone - well actually no Im not ...I am just being honest. I am a selfish cow - first to admit it and I can't stand idle chatter - it drives me nuts. So to have it in my ear for 20 plus hours a day is mindblowing. I like my own company, I dont particular care to talk to people just for the sake of it.
My advice would be start on the lower dose and trial it for about 3 weeks....less if there is a reaction. If all is better then continue to the higher dose if it has no effect then it is pointless taking it. (her taking it that is not you!) Our psych told us this. Donepezil takes you back about a year in terms of memory: ie she has got the memory she had a year ago but it will still decline. just a year behind what it would otherwise have done. I hope that gives you some insight as to whether it is suitable but like others I would NEVER act on what ANY nurse told me I would wait for the doc to prescribe.
I decided that I had to get on with life. Me obsessing over dad and how he died was 1 - never going to bring him back and 2 - rob me of my own life.
Sometimes there will never be closure - meaning psychological satisfaction. There are so many times in life where psychological satisfaction is just NOT going to happen. And then what?
You have to decide to get on with living life and taking the help and tools to cope. Do the exercises to get back in control. Don't give in to the monster that wants to suck you back into the darkness. It takes constant vigilance and a lot of work. It doesn't pick you up and carry you back to shore. You have to swim there and not go stand in the waves over & over.
But it can be done. If you want it bad enough.
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