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We were just having that very conversation about my dad saving all his ugliness just for us. Ugh!
4 years, you are a hero! Please take some time and get your balance. At this point things can change faster then we can adjust and it is important to remember that you matter as well.
Hugs. You got this, you can do it and come out okay on the other side. I hope and pray that your mom can find comfort, that copd is nasties, nasty.
Get a good nights rest and find someone to give you a day.
It is a difficult situation to go through.
She may end up with kidney stones, can I recommend giving her distilled water, it can lessen the chances of stones. Also, high doses of magnesium are really good for constipation and it doesn't cause cramping.
Does she understand that the help you provide is essentially interfering, sheesh she can't have it both ways, if you help her you need to be involved 100%, for your sanity, maybe you can take a respite day and get back in balance. Ask hospice about it, they should be able to help you.
Ask the nurse to explain to your mom how blessed she is that you are there for her, some people put their moms in a hospice facility and they get to be cared for by strangers most of the time. Maybe she doesn't get it. Most senior citizens tend to get self centered and selfish, I don't know why, end of life issues I'm sure. Makes it hard on the ones giving up their entire lives to help. It is a thankless job for sure.
Get someone to come in and deal with her for a day, please find a way. It will help you beyond belief. No doubt you are all awash in overwhelming emotions that need to have fresh air and sunshine.
Take care of yourself during this hard time and be gentle and forgiving with yourself as well.
Hugs for all you do!