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Unless you are appointed executor this holds true when the parent dies and you have no further business other than to hand over your POA records to the Executor.
So, if you are the executor on passing of parent, you wait. In fact, this is PRIVATE business of the PARENT that only the EXECUTOR should know. Often even the executor doesn't know, and only the attorney who makes the will knows. This should not be for discussion among the family at all, it is the parent's private business.
When the will is read hopefully it is WELL written by an attorney in that attorney should make language concerning WHY the child was disinherited. For instance: "I have purposely excluded my son, Norman Bigalow, from inheriting any money from me or my estate because he has joined a religious cult, and I do not trust in his judgement as concerns money" or "I hereby disinherit my son Norman from any inheritance for private and personal reasons of my own".
Otherwise the son may file suit after the will is read claiming that the parent MEANT to put his name in and somehow it didn't happen.
Again, this isn't family gossip nor information to be spread around anywhere including to the disinherited child. The parent may or may not have told said child. That is up to the parent. The executor will handle the will when the parent has passed. He is free then to let the child know of his own suspicions as to why he wasn't included, if the child even asks. Those who do stand to inherit as beneficiaries will be notified according to the laws of your state.
I'm in that boat, also, and have decided not to inform anyone until mom's passing. At that time the attorney will notify siblings.
Personally (and it is just my opinion so can be taken or rejected, and I'm aware you didn't ask for opinions) I think it is not great anytime a parent decides to disinherit a child because of their personal choices, whether it be being involved in a cult or not being financially responsible, etc. She could always provide an allowance for them to be held in a trust established upon the death of the parent, much like you'd do that for a minor child - I know a person whose parent did precisely that and it was a positive way of handling the situation. Regardless of whether a parent agrees about the child's choices, they're still their child and heir and too often we hear about parent's holding this over their child's head, which might be well-intentioned but can also be cruel manipulation. When a parent leaves a child out of their will, it is like the parent's final punishment for that child, without remedy.
Mom could easily change the will back. My mom and dad did this, excluding, then including my OB and YS, both of whom robbed Mom & Dad blind while they were alive. It was sickening.
In the end, mom's final will gave YS her 'full share', while still owing mom $60K. OB had passed and mom opted to not give OB's kids his portion. He owed mom and dad close to $200K.
As a final slap in the face to me, she had added a handwritten 'codicil' to her will that I was to pay the estate $2500 before the will was disbursed. I have to say, I don't know what that was about, and it hurt a lot. Luckily, I knew about before she died, so I had a couple years to digest this.
YB , who was the executor, simply destroyed this 'codicil' and gave me my inheritance. As I knew she didn't really want me to have it, I gifted mine to my YB who took care of mom in his home for a long time.
Wills are not the place to put old unresolved issues and think that 'teaches' the kid a lesson. To this day, IDK what that $2500 was FOR.
I had forgotten about that---you know, it still stings a little. Other than YB with whom she lived, I was her secondary CG and did a LOT for her. Not enough, I guess, to actually be an 'inheritor'. That's why I gave my inheritance away. She obviously didn't want me to have it.
I'd be hurt too. My mother informed me that I'm to be the executor of her will, and I'm to serve without compensation. That seemed like a slap in the face after all the hours of work DH and I put in on his parents' estate (you bet we took the pittance of compensation we were allowed on that one). Thankfully, she has already downsized and sold her home to move to an IL apartment so at least it won't be so bad.
You POA is not in effect until Mom is found incompetent to make informed decisions. I had immediate with Mom and I took over nothing or made decisions for her until I had to. She asked me to take over her bills. Its a tool not a control.
So you don't inform your brother. Your not Executor until Mom passes and Probate has excepted you as Executor. You then will get a Short Certificate allowing you to handle Moms estate. Until then, you can handle nothing. I hope Moms lawyer made the Will
un-contestable. That brother was mentioned and told the reason why he was left out.
But are you POA, or are you the executor of the will? Or are you both? Because as POA you have nothing to do with the will/inheritance. POA ends when your mother passes. Executor responsibilities begin when the will is executed.
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