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Welcome to the forum. You will see many "vents" on here.
I know exactly what that struggle feels like because I worked in elder homecare for almost 25 years. My only client for the last two years is my 84 year old mother, who is indeed the MOTHER of all clients if you get my meaning.
Anyway, I don't know how long you've been in it, but it may be time for you to take a break from it and try something different.
I know what caregiver burnout can do to a person and all the ways it can devastate someone's life.
On my last long-term assignment I was barely functioning at life.
The thought of having to see my client literally made me sick. I could barely drag myself into the house.
I did not neglect or slack off for a moment on the physical care of the client. Or on the housekeeping which I also did. All of the hands-on care was meticulously kept up by me. She was always fed excellent food, her meds were perfect, she was an incontinent invalid from dementia but never had so much as the slightest rash or skin irritation. UTI's were a rare occurrence when under circumstances like this should have been a regular thing.
I never slacked off on the physical care.
Yet, I ignored her in every other way. I for the most part conducted the hands-on care in total silence. I could barely stand to even be in the same room. I reached the point where I just couldn't clean up anymore piss and sh*t. Where I could not deal with anymore repeating over and over again because they're fixated on something and in a dementia loop. Nothing on the job ever got to me. I went from being as patient as a mountain to the patience level of an over-tired toddler with a cold.
That's when I knew it was time to stop. I don't know if I'll ever go back to it as employment. What I do know is that if a caregiver needs a break, take one. Good luck.
Continuity of care is important, we all know that; but if our service has one special benefit for workers is that it's short-term and incredibly varied. Our clients just don't get time to drive us up the wall (or not for more than 30 minutes, anyway).
The mere thought of having to see some of them for more than 2 hours at a stretch, or more than 6 weeks in one program... oh boy. I can sustain my non-judgmental attitude for the required 45 minutes but I must admit that sometimes (today) I then want to drive to the middle of a huge field, dig a hole, stick my head in it and say what I really think of a client.
If it is venting with needing to share emotions and thoughts go for it.
Being mom's care taker for the past 6 years has been wrought with challenges. Dementia sucks and yet I have learned, through this site, that care taking any type of condition can suck too.
This site has offered me wisdom, support and connection. I thought I was alone. I found this site by chance....I was looking for placement for mom and "fell" into this forum. What a gift!
I have learned that there are choices and other avenues, I have learned that getting things out helps. I have learned to share even if it sounds goofy to me. Good luck and welcome to this beautiful cyber place.