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It's probably time to be looking into a nice assisted living facility for them both, where they will be around other folks their age and they can have their own space, to do things the way they want. They will have their peace and you and your husband will have yours. Something to really consider, as your parents could live for another 15 years or so. Are you willing to live like you are for that many more years? Wishing you peace in whatever decisions you make.
Tell her you do not like what she is doing and if it continues you will have to ask them to move to Assisted Living. You can not "place" them there if they are decisional. You can however tell them that they will have to find another place to live. An apartment, Condo, house or Assisted Living would all be options they could choose from.
Your other option if it is possible in your house is to divide what might be called an "In-Law Suite" that could be locked off from the rest of the house. This way she would be less able to "push your buttons" 24/7. If they need help a hired caregiver would be an option. (paid for by them)
Chances are you are not going to get her to change so a change of living arrangement might be the only way.