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You can no longer do this. Both parents need to be placed. We also have Adult Protection services here. If you have anything similar, call them. This is serious and you need to find help.
I was where you were 9 months ago.
Caregiving is very lonely, you loose all your friends because love ones are taking all your time , and energy, and the people in your life just don't understand you.
I lost all faith in humanity, it was a very low place to be. Then came on here and was like these strangers are giving me more understanding and caring than anyone in my life.
You should fill out your profile, so we know more about you.
I'm sorry, I was so concerned with your mental health I can't remember, is it your mom your talking care of? Tell us more and maybe others can help you figure out ways for you to get breaks.
How old is your mom? Her health condition? How long have you been caregiveing.
Long term caregiving changes the brain chemistry, it causes a form of PTSD.
I also understand when you say you don't usually ask for help. Oh that's so me! I don't need help, I help everyone else. There is a time when everyone needs help. It is still hard for me to ask questions on here, at times.
Id say stick around, read other people's problems and issue it will help. We are not perfect, this is all volunteers, so sometimes we have bad days too.
If possible get some therapy, ask more questions, we have much good information on self help books and places to get help.
I'm glad we helped you keep up the good work, this takes time to pull yourself out of the holes we dug are selves into. .
🙏🙂↕️
" Let the marbles fall where they may" what ever works for you.
Religion or not , read the serenity prayer. Change the things that you can, accept the things that you can not.
If I may suggest some little steps you can take. When you are able to get out , don't let yourself think about , your loved one. And every time you do tell yourself, a big fat NO! This is about me, and only me.
Practice mindfulness, put yourself in the moment, not in your problems. Practice, rule of 3, 3 deep breaths, find 3 pretty things, close your eyes and hear 3 things.
If you are feeling guilty! DON'T, you didn't cause this you have nothing to feel guilty about!
And most importantly please don't hesitate to call , emergency numbers for the country you live in!!!! And be sure to get yourself some counseling