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Wish you all the best
[Yes I do know how it feels when you're convinced they're playing you up. But they're not, and she isn't. She's awake early on your days off a) perhaps because she's aware you're there and there's stuff going on in the house and b) because of Sod's Law, the most powerful force on the planet.]
Now then. Why are you asking a bunch of strangers about this instead of your husband, his mother's son?
Look carefully at this pair of sentences:
1. We can't put her in a home - we live in her house so we would lose a place to live.
2. We moved in with her 4 years ago because she couldn't take care of herself.
Now then. There is no reason why BOTH of those can't be true at the same time, but you do need to untangle them, look clearly at what's stopping you moving forward, and above all don't blame MIL for the trapped feeling.
What does DH have to say about the situation? Is he just not involving himself, and if so how is he getting away with that?
If no assets other than the house, then you may want to see if you can get her in LTC on Medicaid. Make an appt with your Social Service dept to talk to a Medicaid caseworker on how it will all work in ur situation.
This shouldn't be about you and what you can or can't afford, but about her and the quality of care she is or isn't getting by living in her own home. You agreed to care for her, in exchange (I would imagine) for free rent, and now you 'can't afford' to feed her??
Your MILs home can be sold and the proceeds can be used to finance her stay in Memory Care. You are obviously burned out in the care giving department, which is fine, not everyone is cut out to be a care giver, me included........so recognize what needs to happen here and then go about making it happen! You are not 'garbage'.......you're just tired and worn out, so it's time to think about your next move. What's best for ALL concerned?
Good luck!