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Give notice of at least one month that you will be moving to your own place and will not be able to continue care. Are you hoping to do ANY care going forward? If so, tell them what hours you would be available, what their costs would be. Be paid, and pay taxes on the money you receive as salary. If you would rather go on with education and/or job then do so. The longer you delay then the more difficult this will be. 7 years is a long time. You deserve your own life. DO KNOW that what is now seeming a godsend of a good friend giving you a real break on cost of living may not last, so be ready to be on your own, working and paying rent.
If there is argument just don't "go there". Just say you are sorry, you know this is difficult for them, but that you must think now of yourself and your own life. Wishing you luck. Hoping you will update us.
You have done the very best you could, to help this lady live at home for 7 years. You have given her and your daughter a BEAUTIFUL GIFT.
Now, you OWE YOURSELF the gift of wellness, peace, comfort, and FREEDOM.
You took on a very difficult responsibility, honored it, and have now come to realize that you are also an important responsibility, TO YOURSELF.
Enjoy EVERY SECOND in your new apartment. See new things, try some new adventures.
You are Blessed for having stepped up. Relish every moment of your future.
Why would you destroy your own life for your sister's MiL?
I believe you have been given a gift too. I am not a religious person. per say, but maybe God is trying to say, its time to move on. If this woman has had Dementia for 7 years, she probably now needs LTC. Take this opportunity and step away from caregiving for a while. Find something different for now.
Looks like one sister is on your side.
The person you were seven years ago when you took on this responsibility is not the person you are today. You need to recapture the good parts of the old you and let go of the bad parts of the new you. If one of your sisters can see how this has worn you down, surely the other sister is aware as well.
I hope the transition goes smoothly and that there is no family rift because of this. Perhaps this is the very thing your sister and bil need to get them to move forward with a placement for mom. Wishing you all the best.