By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Ok, so your friend couldn't handle it; few can; cross that off your list. This is when the rubber meets the road. You've got to be analytical vs. emotional and concentrate on what will be the rest of your life, and decide what's best for each of you to live happily. Do you want to be her caregiver for the rest of her (and your) life? Or do you want to have your own life? You can't have both, not really. I'm guessing the 2nd; if yes, you need to find an assisted living home that your mom can afford on her own or with Medicaid. If your dad served in the military, check into VA benefits to help. Then, you need to see if you can find a job, even if it's part time and different from what your career was. At 64 this may not be possible, but it's not unheard of, and you can at least say you tried. Even a part time job will give you some social contact.
Perhaps you can find a job that's in line with what your career was. Heck, if you can get a job with your former employer in the career and state you were in, do it! And take mom back to that state, and find an assisted living home for her. Pick one that transitions, i.e., if she develops dementia or other medical problems, they're equipped to handle it there, so you don't have to move her again.
The bottom line: take back your life.
Is it time for mom to be in a facility? There comes a time for nearly all of us. Maybe your friend has some recommendations and would help with that.
Best to you.
Best of luck
Her/him leaving doesn't mean that they are not your friend, maybe this is tough love, maybe they saw that you are not the solution for your moms care.
It is far to much for one person to care for a dementia/Alzheimer's patient and two people are not much better. There comes a time when they need a village, could it be time for your moms village to take over and you be her advocate and daughter and actually have your life. I don't think it is okay for parents to ask that their children give up their lives so they don't have to change anything or go into a care facility. Your mom got to have her life, please don't give her years of yours so she doesn't have to give anything up.
I hope you figure out what is best for both of you, because you matter as much as your mom in the choices.
What stage is your mother's dementia/Alzheimer's? I am sure you already know this, but it is or it has reached a point where one one 24/7 is not going to be good for either one of you.
Please come back, vent and let us know how you are doing. I think you need a face to face person who can give you support and objective input like a therapist or a pastor/priest.
I wish you the best.
Sounds like mom needs to be in a facility (with Medicaid if she has no money) and her daughter needs to be her advocate and daughter again.