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Also, her not eating could also be a result in there being no one available to sit and take an hour or more to slowly feed her a meal. Many people hire private caregivers to go into nursing homes and memory care facilities to feed a person because it can take so long.
Try bringing her in some food that's actually appetizing. Like mashed potatoes and gravy with finely ground meat. Then give her ice cream for dessert. If you can't go yourself, hire an aide for two hours to feed her. If this works, you'll know the problem is the food and the time. Then you can make a plan for her meals.
She is losing weight not just because of the pureed food but she is eating less.
As a person declines they do not require the same caloric intake that you or I do.
This is part of the End of Life process. if you or I skip a meal or don't eat enough we feel hunger, a person that has a body that is shutting down does not feel hunger like we do.
You can ask that the pureed food be served in separate sections of the plate.
Is your mom feeding herself still or is she being fed by staff?
It is possible if she is being fed that they are not spending a lot of time feeding her. If they have a lot of residents that they have to feed they may not take the time to feed her an entire meal. This might also be a reason for her weight loss.
I will strongly stress that you should not entertain the idea of a feeding tube. To do so could lead to a host of problems. Often a feeding tube will lead to more pain and discomfort as the body shuts down and can not process the food that is forced into it.
With my last homecare client a bedbound invalid with late stage LBD, we used to serve her the high-protein Ensure drinks. We'd put them in the blender with a scoop of protein supplement powder and two scoops of ice cream. The client loved it and always finished.
It's totally gross. In a care facility they do not ever have enough staff where an aide can take an hour or two to feed a person. So they mix it all together and give the person as much as they can in the few minutes they get to feed them and probably ten other people.
At some point that may be the direction you are heading if you continue to look for ways to keep your loved one alive when even the ability to accept food is gone. Speak with the dietary department and the administration.
Just coming back to add - some commercial suppliers of pureed meals do have mixed-mush-in-a-can, especially the cheaper options. If the kitchen doesn't prepare their own purees this might be all the facility has available.
My son makes health smoothies. Looks amazing going in, all those healthy things layered up then WIZZ & he has a drink of brownish-red or redish-grey.
My Mother was served a plate of pureed pink-grey once in rehab. Under a pink-grey lid on a pink-grey food tray 😞 WT# "Where's my meal?" she asked.
She couldn't even seen it!
The BEST I have seen is when the food is pureed separately by colour & served in a moulded shape. IE beige chicken puree in a chicken breast shape, pureed greens in a pile of peas shape, pureed pumpkin in a wedge shape. Colourful + appetising + dignified. Bonus: If your vision is not so good, you wouldn't even see the difference.
I hope the future brings that way of presenting meals into the quality standards for all health & care settings. (I'd certainly be more tempted to eat colourful shaped food than a bowl of greige).