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lets call mom’s friend, Jane.
Dear Jane,
Next time you need to leave a pet with a person who is not physically capable of babysitting it, like my mother, I will take it to the closest vet clinic, and board her there. Most clinics have dog boarding capabilities. On top of this, all the crap Fluffy left, needs to be professionally removed and house cleaned. Let’s talk to see how you want to pay for the house cleaning…
next time, oedgar, maybe ask doctor if you csn put mom in respite care for the duration of your vacation. Will her insurance pay for it! She may get better help.
Jane needs to know, should this ever happen at all with Jane being asked to care for anyone, she needs to ask if it’s ok to dump the dog at the persons house.
she can also look online:
www.rover.com
find dig sitters, walkers, etc.
I found a lovely cat woman
She comes to my home to feed
and play .
This whole situation sounds so stressful. I hope that you and hubby start to feel better soon.
I am super jealous that you got to go on a cruise. I miss going but my husband is afraid of covid .
DH has dementia and coronary artery blockage that is being treated with meds. Surgery is not possible. Covid for him could mean a step down in cognitive ability, and he's barely able to do ADLs now.
There is plenty of research by reputable entities on after-Covid loss of cognition. I know people that it's happened to, and it's so sad. Here are some links:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/severe-covid-infection-may-lead-to-noticeable-cognitive-loss
https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanwpc/article/PIIS2666-6065(23)00154-2/fulltext#:~:text=Post-COVID cognitive dysfunction (PCCD,be explained by an alternative
https://time.com/6294762/how-covid-19-affects-brain-memory/
Those with coronary artery disease who get Covid have an increased risk of hospitalization and death. https://www.nih.gov/news-events/news-releases/sars-cov-2-infects-coronary-arteries-increases-plaque-inflammation
DH and I have mostly isolated for 3.5 years. We are active, exercise, and do all we can to maintain our otherwise pretty good health. We've taken all possible precautions. We follow doctors' orders and haven't caught Covid. But some things we must do - such as tend to dental and medical care. For that we must go to a doctor's office, and then we get there and are sitting next to someone who got Covid but goes to an appointment anyway!?
And even if it's not someone with CAD sitting next to you, it could be me, my husband's only caregiver, who gets Covid from you and carries it home to DH. If I'm not well - I must avoid respiratory infections because of a tendency toward severe bronchitis that has almost put me in the hospital a few times - who will take care of my husband? There isn't anyone to help us. No family near.
Today I actually was in the dentist's office, and a woman sitting across from me coughed and sneezed several times. No mask, and she didn't cover her mouth in any way, just sneezed her nose, mouth and lung exudate into the air between us for me to breathe. I looked at her, and she said, "I'm not sick. It's allergies." Okay, but couldn't she have covered her face holes in a dentist's waiting room? I learned proper cough and sneeze protocol in elementary school. Didn't she?
Please take care around others. If my DH died because of your spreading of Covid, you wouldn't know it. Doesn't that - shouldn't that - concern you?
I got the first round of vaccines. No questions asked. I have masked many times in many situations myself.
Im currently trying to grasp the isolation guidelines. Apparently you count first day of symptoms as day 0. That would be Saturday. So day 5 for me would be Thursday. I’ve already been a febrile for 24 hours, symptoms gone.
You think having dog poop all over the house for a while longer is ok and you'll get around to it? Just think for a second how off that thinking is. Yet, you're used to it, so you don't think like the rest of us who are going "OMGosh, this is disgusting, and unhealthy and revolting". You're blind to a serious problem.
Not trying to be judgy--but, really? You can hire someone to come clean that dog poop up TODAY. Why is it OK in your mind that it just sits there?
My DH offered to 'babysit' a puppy that was getting over Parvo. I was 100% opposed b/c I knew the dog would still have diarrhea--and DH said he'd handle it. Yep, he handled it by putting a paper towel on top of each and every 'accident'. My basement looked like a freaking scout camp with little 'tents' all over.
Dh thought it was perfectly FINE.
I shall draw a curtain over the ensuing disagreement, but the poop got cleaned up and he had to have that dog in his sight or in the kennel until the owner came and got it.
Point being: he didn't think that 15 piles of sick dog poop were a problem. He was truly blind to the whole thing.
He's now doing basically the same thing with his mother. All her weird behaviors are so common to him (and his sibs) that they simply don't SEE that a lot of the stuff she is doing is extremely dangerous and stupid--to them, it's just mom being mom. I am beyond baffled by them and their blindness to the fact she belongs in a NH. And has for months.
My MIL's kids also believe their mother to be 'mostly independent'. She is not, by any standard. Neither is your mom, I'm sorry to say.
I'm glad you had a great time on your cruise, but was it worth getting covid for? And then coming home to a mess at your mother's, too?
What she can’t/won’t do is clean.
I'm sorry mom's friend let you down. It doesn't sound like mom should be staying alone, even with check-ins.
If mom schedules an appointment you can't take her to, don't argue. Say "no, I can't do that".
Don't wear yourself out arguing with someone who doesn't seem to have the capability to reason.