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Your 5 year old would be bored. No one to play with, no school bus services, nothing there is kid friendly.
Also looking long term your mom may need long term care in the future and her buying the condo will be considered gifting, which is a whole other can of worms.
You sail your mom “mentioned” your daughter, her age will need to be clarified.
55+ communities are just that. No children allowed to live there daily. Try to cease negotiations on the contract before it costs your mother more money. HOA’s can be ruthless and could result in your mother losing her rights to live there.
Yes, the HOA can limit your daughter to only 30 days if that is the rule of the Association. I have seen HOA's that limit a child to only 7 days to visit with their grandparents. Sounds like maybe your Mom didn't mention her granddaughter was only 5 years old. The association probably was thinking your daughter was an adult.
Let's say you move in with your 5 year old. During the week your daughter will have no one to play with, as most of the grandchildren come to visit on the weekends and summer vacation. There will be no tot lots to play in. And what about school? There won't be any school bus stops at a 55+ community.
Hope your Mom can get out of her Contract to purchase that second condo, or she can use that property as an investment rental, but the tenant would need to be 55+. That way she could use that money plus the money which was for the association monthly fee to hire caregivers. Thus, giving you to chance to get a job what offers you health insurance, social security/Medicare payroll deductions, paid vacation days, paid sick days, maybe life insurance, maybe matching 401(k), etc.
Let us know how this works out.
Could you ask to see the HOA rules regarding this to see what they actually say? It would seem a shame in terms of your plan to take care of your mom, but there are a lot of people who buy into these communities with the expectation that there aren't going to be a lot of kids running around. I love kids myself so I don't quite understand this but apparently, it's a common preference.
In answer to your question...Did your Mom get permission for you to be there for her care? If so, then she must have mentioned the child. 30 days may be OK. The whole thing about a 55 and up is no children allowed.