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On his own, he is considered a person at risk and APS can step right in. If he is in ur home, may be a little more involved because he is safe.
I would run this by your Office of Aging or even Adult protection services. Have addresses and phone numbers of the children ready. A call from a legal agency maybe what is needed for them to take on the responsibility. Maybe not hands on care, but getting him set up in a LTC facility. If they want no involvement, then the state can file for guardianship.
Maybe trying to contact them first telling them Dad now needs more care than u can give and u have no authority to place him. If they don't step up to the plate, then call APS.
I know that seems heartless, but you are taking responsibility without authority and his family could turn your life upside down with one accusation. So stepping back and letting the system figure his care and placement out is really the safest and quickest way for him to receive help.
You can stay in touch and continue to advocate for him once he is placed, he will need that because his family will be gone once they aren't being forced to take care of him.
Hugs! What a rotten situation for him and you.
Takkng care of a stroke patient and a child with special needs is impossible for one person. Send his family a letter or call them if you have their numbers. Send the letter “return receipt requested” so you know they got it. If they don’t respond, you may have to call Adult Protective Services for help.