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Let this nasty drinking and smoking Aunt find another slave. Don't waste the prime of your life in this situation. Let whoever sucked you into this situation know you will be gone by X date.
Sorry for being facetious. I wouldn’t care for her any longer since she doesn’t appreciate your kindness.
Why are you taking care of her? Does she have a memory problem? Mobility problem? Cognitive problem? All of the above?
Is anyone her PoA? If she has a PoA this is the person you notify to inform them that you are no longer going to provide her care as of XX date. And then leave and do not insert yourself in the situation any further, no matter what (even if asked or begged or offered to be paid).
The behavior your describe sound like dementia but your profile says she is "-173" years old... is she 73 years old? That's pretty young for dementia but not ALZ.
Does she have an actual diagnosis of cognitive impairment? I ask because everything else is guessing and not very helpful.
You alluded to your other family members possibly "breaking the law" in whatever they are doing with your Grandmother. If you suspect this, report your Grandmother to APS as a vulnerable adult and provide the evidence for them to do an in-person check. Depending on your state and county you may be able to report her anonymously.
Does your Aunt have a history of mental illness? If so, this is a situation beyond what you can manage. I would also report her to APS and bow out. This will allow the county to have a judge assign a legal guardian for her. This will enable the guardian to get her the help she needs, without you being involved.
Any other details you provide will be helpful.
I don't answer any questions that are not punctuated because they are too difficult to read.
Whatever is going on with you, happy to consider and discuss when I can read it, and meanwhile I do wish you the best.
I CAN tell you are dealing with someone you consider "hateful". Hateful people are to be avoided. Period and end of sentence.
You are at the end of your rope . Taking care of your aunt is not good for you mentally . A doctor or therapist would tell you to stop being her caregiver . There is no shame is stopping being a caregiver . It’s ruining your mental health . Take back your life.
I so hope you are not living there for free room and board. I hope one of you is working. If not get jobs and move out.