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Do you also tell full time housewives they should get a job for some self esteem?
This person asked for help, they did not ask for your opinion about their self esteem.
Did your dad serve in VietNam and was possibly exposed to Agent Orange? If so, with his diagnosis of Parkinson's he could get 100% disability benefits which are about $3700 per month now. By all means contact the VA or a veterans group like the VFW or your state for help in accessing VA benefits. He may also be eligible for medical care through the VA. You need to get a Durable Power of Attorney for him ( might be too late for Mom depending on how far her Alzheimers has advanced). Contact the numerous Parkinson's organizations for information and advice. Start planning ahead for yourself because it's unlikely that you will be able to provide all the necessary care for two disabled adults with progressively degenerative diseases
Better than getting paid yourself for providing for their care, use resources to help them. Find a better paying job than caregiver for yourself, out of the house, so you have a life outside of their care.
We weren't interested in VA health care because we had good insurance and did not want to change providers. BUT, once I started looking for respite care and got him into the system I learned he only had to go for an annual check up and we could continue using our private providers for everything else. I didn't receive the respite care right away like I hoped for but in the mean time he received hearing aids, eyeglasses, wheel chair, U-Step Walker (specifically for neurological issues), incontinence products and so much more that has saved us a lot of money. We finally began receiving benefits to have someone assist me in his care.
If he has gotten no care from the VA, start there first! Contact your local VA hospital and they will direct you to the office to get enrolled.
https://www.va.gov/health-care/how-to-apply/
My husband is 75 with Parkinson's and I would love to chat with you if you would like to contact me privately. A lot of navigating the VA is knowing what to ask for because sometimes individual VA providers aren't aware of what the other departments might make available to you.
As to payment for services already rendered by you to your parents, that will not happen, so you can let go of that one. Some states will pay family through the medicaid program a small stipend; it isn't enough to support you. And because medicaid does clawback on any home your parents may have you cannot afford to do this care, ending up homeless and without a job history. Check with your own States policies re SSDI and payment for family caregivers.
I would speak with an Elder Law Attorney. You need a ONE HOUR consult (and specify that) to find out what choices and possiblities there are for you. You also need to know what documentation you need such as POA, and need a grounding on the DUTIES and the rights of a POA, and whether you feel capable of undertaking that task.
Are you the only child in the area? Are there other children outside the area who are any support to you and your parents? Do they own their own home?
I do suggest you get good, solid legal advice. Might this cost you as much as 1K if you need a few hours? Yes, it might. But you will know what you can access to help you.
I hope Igloo is around and about on the Forum because she will have some good advice for you as well.
AARP had a volunteer hot line now. The way it works is that you call, and you say where you live and when they can contact you. Then they have a volunteer in your area call you with access to information idea for you in your area. That number is 1-888-281-0145. If this turns out to be of help I would love to know, as this is a new service they just posted in their last magazine and I don't know many who have tried it.
Good luck, SUNNY, and welcome to Forum.
Your parents can pay you. There should be a contract indicating that you are providing care.
Since dad is a Veteran the VA may pay you to care for them. contact your local Veterans Assistance Commission or the VA and find out what programs are available. Very good possibility that dad will have a % of "service connected disability". There may be funds available such as VA Aid and Attendance as well as other programs. This should be the first call you make.
Check with your local Senior Services they may be aware of programs that will pay you for caregiving.
But if your dad has money, if you don’t need to worry about the 5-year look-back, he can gift you money. And that money can equal the compensation you feel is just. It can be a gift. There’s a limit to how much gift is tax free.
I strongly encourage you to get financially what’s just, for your past work. You deserve every bit of it.
They are family. They cared for you, nowits your turn . . .
If your dad is eligible for monthly benefits and you want to use Patriot Angels to apply on your behalf, they charge and one-time fee.
After wasting a year trying on my own to secure benefits for my mother as the widow of a veteran, I decided to use Patriot Angels. My mother is now receiving Aid and Attendance monthly, so the fee was well worth it. The VA also paid retroactively from the application date on April 1.
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