By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
OP however has posted nothing; not even thanks for the concern from many people here.
i think OP invented the story.
it's fake.
it's like trying to create a suspense story, and get people hooked on what happens next.
a real person of course flies over to the parent, to get this stranger out.
a real person doesn't waste time on forums about such an issue. they act right away, call the police, neighbours, etc.
Advice that says this is 'none of your business' is absurd, imo. This is your elderly mother we're talking about and to say it's none of your business is leaving her to possibly *and probably* be grossly taken advantage of here. God knows what the details are of this situation, and how a 50 year old man convinced her to take him in, but I seriously doubt he has good intentions or is 'helping her' in any way without expecting something in return. Maybe in the fantasy Disney movies things work out that way, but in real life in 2022 in California, I doubt it. A lot.
If this is a true story/post, and if this was my mother, I'd have been on a plane at hearing the first word about this.
It's also odd that she's very hostile towards you when you ask questions about this man's identity. What is she trying to hide? If he's a friend, and someone who's genuinely helping her with things around the house, why is she so secretive? That's my question.
Go find out for yourself and don't rely on anyone else to do your homework for you.
Good luck and do come back to let us know what happened.
Mon is 92 and looks every second of it, yet she is convinced that every single man she meets 'wants her'.
I think it's great that she has a good self image, despite what the mirror shows--but if she suddenly had a 50 yo man living with her, that would be of serious concern.
Is there a friend or neighbor you can call? I hate to sound unkind, b/c maybe this guy is really a great guy (I doubt it, as do you, right?) but you need to protect mom.
Best would be boots on the ground--going there and seeing for yourself.
This is a new one on all of us--I hope you'll come back and let us know how it goes.
I'm assuming that you have no access to her accounts, to determine if funds are being withdrawn?
Do you know any of the neighbors who could provide you with information on this man, assuming that he interacts with them? Or perhaps discreetly take a photo of him so that facial recognition could be used by law enforcement to identify him?
When she visited you, did she mention whether neighbors were getting her mail? That would be one method of determining his name.
I certainly would contact the local police and/or sheriff, as well as the local agency that makes welfare checks. Perhaps some attention from the local LEOs might prompt him to reconsider whatever his plan is, as I have a strong suspicion that he does have one, and it's to benefit him and him only.
The fact that your mother has been secretive and gets hostile indicates she is not 100% competent, or she's being exploited or threatened. The timing in particular is extremely concerning.
Contact her bank and any other financial institutions as well to alert them, although I'm not sure what you can do without POA. Nevertheless, it puts her on their radar that something might not be kosher.
You are correct to be concerned.
Call APS for your mother's area, explain that you're concerned about her living situation given that she is a vulnerable adult and ask them to visit her for a welfare check.
See All Answers