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I feel a bit irresponsible asking questions like this actually - I'm not qualified and shouldn't meddle.
But I have to say that if I were you I'd have steam coming out of my ears by now. ALWAYS BE POLITE 😇 - of course! But it's quite possible to be perfectly polite and still take a cattle prod to your mother's doctors if need be.
Yes, it is usual, customary, and reasonable (UCR) for the psychiatrist to have the patient brought in to be seen when you have questions or a change in medications is required. Especially at first.
People are different. Some do well with the facts, more information, and would normally seek that out. Others are content with less information, and can go through life not knowing. It could be your Mom is repeating the word crazy instead of really thinking she is crazy. Maybe you can gradually introduce another word to replace "crazy". For example: You are not crazy, you just had a "senior moment".
It must be confusing and painful for you to watch your mother decline in this way.
You are a good person to want to protect her.
Did she start any other new medications in the last 4-5 months?
Was she checked for a UTI at her regular physician's? In the elderly, a urinary tract infection does not bring the same symptoms, and a patient can have hallucinations with a UTI. Do not accept a dip stick urinalysis, get a more thorough testing. imo.
It is also common for physicians to think differently about the PRN (as needed) use of a medication, versus the regular dosing to build up the med to a therapeutic dose. Some psychiatrists are more familiar with "off label" uses that could possibly benefit the patient's needs. A lay person may describe this as "thinking outside of the box". These are all questions best asked of the psychiatrist, and a second opinion could help.
Overall, she needs assurance of her safety and gentle reminders. My grandma is 98 and can be lucid sometimes but more often lately she just needs reminders, assurance, and lots of love. I tell her she is forgetting some things and that we’re trying to keep her safe which is why she is in assisted living. That seems to work along with lots of reorientation of things that I suspect she’ll be more likely to recall. Take care!
Is your mother's health otherwise pretty good? (making allowances for her being a 1926 vintage!)
As you say your mother is pretty sharp when not having a crisis, and she herself is seeking explanations for what is happening, then I personally feel that it is wrong not to discuss her condition with her. But at this point, depending on how reliable you think that diagnosis is, I don't think there's any need to drop the D word on her specifically. Ask her what she thinks, ask her about how she's feeling, reassure her that she and you and her doctors will get this figured out. But don't tell her any lies.
And tell that family member he's not too big to go over your knee and get spanked.
Psychiatric medication management on the elderly is often a trial and error procedure.
Call mom's pharmacist and get an explanation of how this drug works.
Did the psychiatrist order any imaging of mom's brain? Do any testing, like the draw a clock test or ask her to remember 3 words, ask her who was President, and if she knew where she was?