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Thank you,
Trudy
It has taken me a while to reply to your post as I found it hurtful.
When my husband was alive, his siblings etc were always welcome to visit him but they chose not to get involved in any way.
Yes of course I respect that they need to grieve and have no intention of fighting over issues. Certainly not as you say " a graveyard food fight"
His grave is now a sacred place and I will keep it as such. I always ask / or tell my sister-in-law when I put flowers on my brother's grave simply out of respect for her wishes and in my opinion, good manners.
Thank you for taking the time to reply
Trudy.
You have not said what these 'silly things' are, so perhaps it is in the eye of the beholder. I know for my bil when he passes, I will be putting a Tonka Dump Truck at his grave. It relates to a story that was between the two of us. May appear disrespectful to others, but he would understand.
I spend time in a couple cemeteries in France last year. Seeing what people leave at a grave beyond the usual flowers, gives some insight into the lives of those buried there.
Trudy
I think I wouldn't have appreciated it either. These things should have been done before he died, not after. There is probably some guilt here. I agree, it will eventually stop.
trudy
Trudy
Sorry for your loss of your husband.
In your grief, focusing on the "things" that make you angry will just cause yourself to be tortured.
Can you come back to explain what is really going on, and why it is a problem for you?
Just a thought...you are under no obligation now to continue a relationship with his siblings. You can soon as you feel like it, start a new life for yourself. Do you have children?
Can you ask the cemetary to keep the grave clear of anything but flowers?
On a regular basis?
Do they sign their names?
How bad is it? Can you press charges for vandalism? Would that be reasonable?
thank you,
Trudy
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