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Depression is a very real disease, and it's pretty common in folks with Dementia and cognitive decline.
Have you spoken to her doctor about her symptoms?
"Hoarding past hurts" is actually a symptom called rumination. My MIL suffered from it; she could recite every slight she'd ever recieved, going back to childhood. An evening with her could make the cheeriest person suicidal, so I know what you mean!
I hear your frustrations. It is a lot to care for an elderly parent and it does become emotionally and physically draining. I would try and speak to a social worker about all your options. There is help for you and your mom. It will probably take time to organize but in the meantime, I hope you can arrange for some respite care and give yourself a much needed break.
Please know we are all here to listen and support you.