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You say.."Torn between getting BETTER care there or keeping her at home"
Sounds to me like there is no real choice.
Just as she wanted the best for you when you were growing up you want what is best for her.
The fact that she does not realize her "home" is her home seems to make this decision easier. (easier might not be the right word as this is never an easy decision)
Moving her at this time is even more fraught with doubts. Isolation, the fact that you may not be able to visit, curtailed activities...BUT she will have professional care in an environment that is safe for her.
Side note to this,,,You are young...you have many options. You are retired, do some of the things that you have been wanting to do but put on the back burner.
Your mom will be fine. I am sure she would want you to do this. If you asked her 20 years ago would she have wanted you to put your life on "hold" to care for her? I bet not, no mom would.
Please try to back away from the guilt; you've done nothing wrong. The number of missteps that my brothers and I made when trying to get mom the best care.....oy, the stories I could tell you!
Has mom's doctor who is managing her dementia or another professional weighed in and recommended Memory Care? For me, that would be the signal to move her.