I am seeking a pro-bono lawyer to come to me in order to help me get the rights over my mother who is incompetent and bed bound. Any advice?
Hello, I am at a loss here. I need to be granted Durable POA over my mother. She is not able to sign her name at all. I am her caregiver 24/7 I am the only one out of my other 2 siblings that took on this huge responsibility over her, she's stages 6 Alzheimers dementia. My other 2 siblings wanted to let the state take her and put her in a state facility. That really upset me they would do that to their own mother. She is on hospice care in my brother in laws home.
On April 6, 2021 mother was put into a private home for elderly agents as her condition.
On 8/11/22 her husband passed away and he had Durable POA over her. My step sister now claims she is her DPOA And no where on that contact names her as DPOA. She was the notary that notarized this contract and her adopted son is a witness.
I thought family wasn't supposed to do DPOA's as witnesses and Notaries
I need legal help plz?
Pro bono lawyer that is willing to come to me, I am not able to leave my mother at anytime. Due to I am the only one caring for her I have absolutely no help.
I have to beg my sister to help and I ask my brother in laws help.
If it wasn't for my brother in law giving me a break and helping me I'd be kooky by now.
I seriously need her money, social security card and medicare. She does have a valid form of ID is her passport book expires 2027.
I need to sign her up for medicaid ect.
Please help me?
Thank you
15 Answers
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You say that your SIL is now POA. I suggest that you tell your SIL that given that she is now the POA, and that you are not being paid to care for your Mom, you are resigning as her caregiver as of ___/___/___.
It is simply not possible to proceed in being sole caregiver at this point. There is now way you can be appointed POA. And it sounds as though the POA your SIL has now is not legitimate.
It is time to contact APS, tell them that your Mom appears to have no POA, that you cannot function to care for her in the present circumstances, and that you need their intervention.
If this doesn't work you are left with the ER dump. That means you call ER to take your Mom to hospital on some trumped up cause, and once there you report her to Social Services and leave her in their hands, letting them know she cannot return to your home (or if this IS her home, that you will not be there to care to her any more, and MOVE OUT). Tell them that a SIL claims to have POA and they should call HER. They will then contact SIL and will likely examine her POA, and get this elder placed safely.
As you recognize you are not able to leave the premises even for a moment, it must be clear to you that you cannot continue in this wise.
I called Catholic Family Services and was able to talk to an attorney for 30 minutes for free.
Contact a big local law firm and see if they do pro bono work, many do as a community service and to give younger attorneys experience.
FYI it sounds like you would have to seek a guardianship if your mom is not competent to sign her own name.
If she is on hospice, and in your home, can't hospice help you in some way?
Your wrote:
"...Her Will and Trust had her husband, has her step daughter than me. But the step daughter isn't taking care of her. I am and she's in California and I am in Texas.
She is wanting me to open a bank account and get my mother's money. Apparently she doesn't want that responsibility but I do not know how she's doing her banking and financial because no one is named 2nd on her DPOA.
I have copies of everything. How can we transfer those documents over to me? "
You mother's Will has nothing to do with anything right now since she is still living.
If you have a copy of the Trust paperwork, and you are named as a Trustee, then take that to an elder law attorney to decipher what your legal authority is in terms of financial management of her funds, if any. It may be in this document that you stepsister is given this authority.
Regarding your stepsister you wrote:
"I do not know how she's doing her banking and financial because no one is named 2nd on her DPOA."
We don't know, either, as there are too many complexities to this situation. This is why you need to take the documents you have and see a certified elder law attorney (CELA).
Finally, you wrote:
"I drove out to California to get her out of an abusive situation. Mentally, physically and sexually. The neglect was horrifying." If this was the case then did you ever report this to the police or APS? If not, why not? Was she living by herself? Or with someone? Or was someone living with her?
We are trying to piece together the chain of events, actors and known facts so we can give you our best guidance. If I were you I'd go to a CELA today.
What the problem is.. My step father had DPOA over my mother, no one is named 2nd to care for her.
He has passed away in 8/11/22. I do have Medical POA on her though. My step dad was on her med POA.
Her Will and Trust had her husband, has her step daughter than me. But the step daughter isn't taking care of her. I am and she's in California and I am in Texas.
She is wanting me to open a bank account and get my mother's money. Apparently she doesn't want that responsibility but I do not know how she's doing her banking and financial because no one is named 2nd on her DPOA.
I have copies of everything. How can we transfer those documents over to me? All in want to do is take care of my mother. Means the world to me
I drove out to California to get her out of an abusive situation. Mentally, physically and sexually. The neglect was horrifying. I don't know what to do.
To avoid conservatorship is to have both DPOA and POA
But her DPOA isn't named anymore.
I don't know what to do
And yes I was panicking
Mom placed in a private home in 2021. Then your BIL has her at his house for Hospice but you can't leave her alone.
You nor anyone else can get DPOA on Mom. Unless step-sister was secondary on the original DPOA, she cannot be POA either. IMO her POA is not legal. Mom was not able to assign her and I think its a conflict of interest for a notary to sign and attach a seal to her own step-mothers POA. And I don't agree that family doesn't have the right to get proof of POA. You have to prove you hold POA to the bank. To doctors and hospitals. Why not to family who are actually doing the caring.
If Mom is on Hospice, why do you need POA now? It really doesn't matter. When she passes, POA stops. If she has a Will, the Executor takes over. No Will, then an administrator needs to be assigned by probate.
"I seriously need her money, social security card and medicare. She does have a valid form of ID is her passport book expires 2027.
I need to sign her up for medicaid ect."
If Mom is on hospice at your BILs there is no need for medicaid. Seriously, you are not going to get POA at this point. Even if step-sisters POA may not be valid, if its excepted by the bank and doctors then at this point I would just let things be. Your Mom is on Hospice because its felt she will pass in within 6 months. Medicare is paying for Hospice.
Was Mom placed in a home in 2021 and you took her home with you? Was she at BILs and you removed her from Hospice and took her home? If so, I appreciate that you may have done this because you felt Mom would get better care with you doing it but, to do it right you should have held POA then. No Caregiver should be doing care without POA.
If Hospice took Mom on, then they felt she was actively dying. Seems you want to care and keep Mom home. So why Medicaid? That means placing her in Longterm care. Or do you want it for "in home" care. If so, your step-sister can apply for Medicaid since she is POA.
I have a feeling its you wanting to care for Mom against the rest of the family who feels she should be in a facility. I think at this point, the majority rules. If the phrase "I seriously need her money" means you need it to live on, maybe you better just start looking for a job and allow SS to take over Moms care. If Hospice was brought in, its felt Mom is actively dying. When she passes, her Social Security stops anyway. As does any pension she receives. So what will you do then. I think you have taken on this caring without thinking about how it would impact you in the future. Sometimes we lead with the heart when it should be the mind.
What does this mean?? "On April 6, 2021 mother was put into a private home for elderly agents as her condition."
Your mother lives with your BIL but you have no help and can't leave her alone, due to being the only one caring for her, per your words.
"I ask my brother in laws help." "If it wasn't for my brother in law giving me a break and helping me I'd be kooky by now."
Yet you say you have "absolutely no help."
You'd be lucky to find a pro bono lawyer, yet need one to come to YOU no less, bc you can't leave mom alone, in BILS home after saying he DOES help you.
And worst of all, "I seriously need her money, social security card and medicare." What????????
Do you need these things to apply for Medicaid, and if so, why her money? And if mom is on hospice care now, why would you desperately need Medicaid?? For long term care in a facility you don't want her in?????
Your mother cannot appoint you POA now, as others have told you. Your goal here is unclear, to say the least. What exactly are you trying to accomplish, at the 11th hour with mom's days numbered as they are now????
Mother at stage 6 Alz now, so time from dx to make plans.
I suspect the OP didn't get it. Now is overwhelmed & in panic mode.
Online, phone or in-person crises counselling for grief & loss may be beneficial here.
I hope so.
Otherwise it appears to be a 11th hour swoop in for control & money. I hope not.
I already have my mother. She had been sexually, mentally and physically abused where she was
- Mother to sign a DPOA?
Not possible.
- Free legal advice?
That's possible.. maybe.
- You don't want your Mother in a state run home.
Ok. That IS possible to avoid.
BUT it can have DIRE consequences.
Will there be sufficient care at home for Mother?
I have seen people 'keep Mother home' & attempting to do 24/7. Leaving Mother unwashed, unfed, bedbound, wounds untreated because they cannot cope alone. Because they refuse outside help. Some are 'at home' despite disastrous neglect & squalor.
"I seriously need her money, social security card and medicare".
Why? To hire extra help to enable a home care plan for Mother to work better?
Or just to survive?
Your whole plan needs an immediate reboot.
My advice is stop looking for a free lawyer & get your Mother somewhere SAFE TO BE LOOKED AFTER ASAP.
You state that you saw the PoA document for your Mother (I'm assuming you mean the one assigning her husband as PoA) and you didn't see your step-sister named as a secondary PoA, only as the notary... is this correct?
PoAs are not required to show the document or "prove" their authority to anyone. You may need to do this first, through a lawyer who will write a letter threatening to make her show it in court. If she is not a legit PoA then she will either fess up or cough up the legit document.
If she is the legit PoA, you are at a dead end unless you wish to pursue guardianship -- but then you'd need to have a darn good reason to fight over her control -- and not just that you disagree with the care plan. A judge may dislike the family infighting and assign a non-family guardian if you go this route.
If your stepsister turns out to not really be your Mom's PoA, then you still have the hurdle of acquiring guardianship yourself. It's expensive and time consuming. Not sure you will find a pro bono lawyer to do all of this AND make house calls.
Often caregiving is less about "my preferred solution" and more about "least bad option". I'm sorry for this stressful family situation. Maybe you can work out a solution through a court-appointed family mediator?
Where I live, state facilities are subject to strict regulation, and are scrupulously monitored and maintained, so that might be worth investigating.
Please take good care of yourself.
You do need an attorney, though, so contact your local bar association to see if they can recommend a pro bono attorney.
I have taken that into consideration