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My mom went to live in a nursing home in Jan. after three years of being completely helpless except to put a spoon in her mouth. My youngest is now 16. It was unbelievable how many people asked couldn’t Mom could live with me! Small home, no spare bedrooms & still educating children. Call me mean, selfish, horrible, I don’t care, I wasn’t about to take on that much of her care.
to crisis treadmill for years and frankly didn't take great care of myself as I often
had to cancel appointments to take care of one or the other.
Ironically when there was finally a lull in the daily crisis and I started taking care
of myself again my own health failed rather spectacularly. I've seen this happen with a few others as well. It's easy to get on this blind treadmill with one crisis thinking you see the light at the end of the tunnel, only to realize years later
the tunnel is verrrrry long indeed.
Moral of the story is learn to have boundaries, learn to say no, take very very
good care of yourself, and choose your friends wisely.
My 73 yo mother with dementia and medical issues lives with me and my family. I have a husband that works overnight shift as a cop (stressful enough lately) and four children. I also work part time. My children were five years to 13 years when I started to devote weekends to clean her house and pay her bills (she lived in another state). Eventually she started coming for months at a time and then moved in. She has lived with us for about 18 mo. I could go on and on about how HARD this is but I won’t because you all know that. To me, the hardest part is that my mom wants to be my whole life. But, my husband and my children need to be my whole life so I am constantly torn and frustrated. Yesterday I signed the paperwork for her to go to a memory care where she can get the care she needs. This is the most got-wrenching thing I might ever do but I know I need to do this for my family and my marriage. Please pray for me.