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We are going this week to do POA, update will and advance directive. I have never been a good liar, but I am beginning to see the importance.
The VA....crazy as it is they won't help until he is no longer active duty...the Army doesn't seem to have much along the way for dementia care support. I am so thankful he is in the medical transition unit, now if I can just get them to reduce his hours. 9-4 is just TOO much for him and me.
An eldercare attorney is one who deals with the problems of the elderly exclusively and know how to set up necessary legal documents. The VA may also be able to help with this. There is nothing to be ashamed of with your husband's condition neither of you caused it so be open about it. When he does something inappropriate just tell people he has a mental illness and can't control his behavior sometimes, or just say he was in the Military and can't get over some of the things he saw. There is so much in the news these days that people have an understanding of PTSD and hopefully make allowances.
try and take a nap today if you can. Worrying never solved anything. You have reached out and everyone is here to help you and others have had husbands who have been in the military. If you are still awake make yourself a warm drink and curl up in your favorite chair with one of those cats, they have to be good for something. God Bless. keep writing - someone else is always awake!
any joint cards. If he dies and has run up big balances on joint cards you will be responsible for paying. Cut off your land line and just use a cell yourself.
This is a very hard time but if you can't afford take out tell him just that. Are you afraid he will become physically violent if you refuse his wants? Has he ever hit you? If there is a history it will only get worse. If he does assult you call the police even if you don't want to because he needs more help than you can give him and he may need to be stabilized in a psychiatric facility. Explain to the police what you need done and follow their advice.