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Even when I've told her to pee in her diaper, she will refuse and who can blame her? I probably wouldn't either, to be honest.
The only time that she will urinate in her diaper - which also has a thick nighttime pad in it - I use TENA brand - is when she is sound asleep and her brain/bladder connection doesn't alert her.
My mother has to be escorted to the bathroom every time but when she's awake during the day, sitting in the kitchen it's not so bad. It's just how things are.
So. In order to get some sleep - for both of us - I now have liquid Ativan that I can give her if she gets up more than one time and becomes anxious in the night. A tiny squirt in the cheek (.01 ml) and it's night-night. It's been a life saver. She doesn't need it every night - only those nights when it becomes obvious that her brain is on fire.
Peace.
Running water that she can hear (a problem if she is in bed) or a huge deep breath in letting it slowly out through the mouth and relaxing as she does so may help if anything will.
Much as I hate to say it, you may need to discuss indwelling catheter with doctor or she may retain urine in her bladder and end with serious infection. Of course the catheter poses this danger as well. And in all truth the mere fact of pelvic injury predisposes your Mom to infection. There are few things as painful with slight movements as pelvic fracture, and another fall could be a danger. Have a bedside commode at the ready so you can "bring the bathroom to her" instead of her moving to it. But this is going to take some time, and during this time your mom is in danger of infection. I would check urine with dipstick frequently.
I don't think you can "train" your mom to do something she refuses to do. They get extremely pig headed about the few things left they CAN control at this stage of life, and this may be an example of one.
Plan to take turns getting up with her during the night or use moms funds to hire an overnight caregiver. Once you tell her that plan, she may decide she WANTS to pee in her brief! 🤣😂
Best of luck to you.
IF your mother isn't deaf or demented, you could just write a note DAILY before bedtime e re.minding her that IF IT'S DARK IN YOUR ROOM THAT MEANS ITS LATE AT NIGHT AND WE ARE SLEEPING!--SO JUST PEE YOUR DIAPER!
ITS OK TO DO SO ! YOU HAVE ON RUBBER PANTS SO IT WONT RUIN THE BED!
WE NEED OUR SLEEP IN ORDER TO HELP YOU DURING THE DAY.
SO IF ITS DARK IN YOUR RIOOM, WE ARENT AWAKE YET. JUST PEE IN
YOUR DIAPER!
ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN FALLING AGAIN TRYING TO USE THE TOILET!
I cannot agree with encouraging someone who is not incontinent to urinate themselves. It’s one thing to assure them it’s ok so they don’t rush to the toilet and get hurt. But otherwise it is not in their best interest. Other options should be explored.
Wishing you and your mom the best in figuring this out.
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