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Country Mouse so there really is a village idiot. Up by the Welsh border is that where they hide. Goodness me we certainly learn something new every day about other posters. Hugs to you both, I know you can't help it. Gin and tonic for you CM?
I have been helped both by the posters who agree with me AND probably even more by the ones with a contrasting viewpoint - I believe you should always try to see it from the other point of view, because that way you always learn something.
Thank you for your sympathy. I'll take all I can get.
Just wondering: is there any person or organisation you DO approve of? Perhaps we could look to them for an example, that would be useful to know.
I realized there was an article over a decade ago regarding someone in Connecticut claiming he was turned down because he was too smart. Being smart on paper isn't the same as being street smart.
If everyone thought the same way, these forum/blog websites would no longer exist.
If you want to make the CEO's of leading organisations refuse you a platform to share your experience, come across as paranoid.
Destroyed, I've read back over all the posts because I couldn't get why you were so convinced that the system is so conspiratorial. I think your experiences have driven you mad. Having no co-operation or help with a relative who is demented, psychotic or both must be maddening. Finding that her accusations are acted on without verification - sorry, that's the law! It's there to protect people who otherwise have been historically disbelieved, such as abused children, rape victims, and the vulnerable elderly - must have been even more so. But it's equally apparent that you wasted time and effort berating the police instead of listening to them. The police do insist that you follow the rules before they can help you. Unfair, perhaps; annoying, certainly; sometimes a frustrating waste of time; but nevertheless true.
So what's the state of play now? Where do you want to go from here?
that could be awesome, as long as the message is not just that the system is bad and home caregiving should not be done :-0 but how to protect yourself and
what to watch for and what to document, and why and what kind of problems can arise that you might least expect as a would-be caregiver.
the only thing wrong in your posts is that actually APS is not a for-profit agency at all - they have overworked staff and don't get extra $$ for bigger caseloads, plus if an elder or anyone is judged legally incompetent, they can be placed under guardianship.
I'm guessing you don't have the video that would show that woman with dementia is the one who has crossed the line, and that has got to be very upsetting. I would not think to sit in judgement of you for a second, though I would out of compassion worry that you aren't allowing yourself to feel what anyone in your situation might feel!
Gosh golly, get some meds and some counseling. You are in a bad way, really burned out. So Sorry.
People are far to quick to judge others. Look at how many people are in jail or prison in the U.S. More than ANY other country in the world. Many people have died from false accusations. My heavens, step back and read YOUR words and advice. You are expressing your anger, fury and judgment call on me.
We all need to unite and share experiences NOT JUDGE, and NOT give ill advice that is potentially dangerous such as the wine for aggressive dementia people. Take care and I wish you well.
In my fairly varied experience of social workers - though I speak as someone who's never felt under suspicion, so I don't suppose I've seen the ugliest side - the ones who've been doing the job for long are wise, proportionate, cautious and realistic. They can still start out a case seeming rather gullible, but that's because when they receive a report of abuse they have to approach it on the basis that it's true. After all, if you investigate something assuming that it's all nonsense, how hard are you going to look at it?
Then there are the trainees and the recent graduates - oh boy! They have a lot to learn and, like medical students, very vivid imaginations. Fortunately, they are most unlikely to be making any major decisions.
The delusional and vulnerable elders don't understand that often they are rejecting and falsely accusing the only individuals that actually have their best interest in mind. Undue influence from parties of questionable character are often the cause. These are the same parties that stand to profit from the crucifixion of the family caregiver.
That said - there is a 50/50 rule used by police departments which states that any individual who is a threat to themselves or others can be hospitalized for 3 days observation to determine competence/threat. If this helps at all....
That is their right. They can refuse medical attention. The elder can refuse absolutely anything concerning their health or for that matter how dangerously they choose to live. However, a caregiver can be arrested for not providing them proper supervision in all aspects of their daily living. If they choose to lie, their word trumps yours. Also, as in several cases, the videos were not accepted in court. That is a Judge's call. No it is not legal, but it is happening. People also say to speak with the Alzheimer's association. That was done as well. The Alzheimer's association is well aware of what is happening concerning false allegations but choose to keep this information out of the programs they offer. They do not want to educate caregivers about how to protect themselves, legally. Flat out denied to give lectures to help caregivers by the head of The Alzheimer's Association. Conflict of interest was the reason given. What that means, for them (the association) they would be jeopardizing the vast amount of money funneled through funding and grants as well as kickbacks from elder abuse arrests, INCLUDING FALSE ACCUSATIONS.