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Trust me, sitting alone in a surgical waiting room for hours on end, you begin to wise up and make plans. His funeral is planned. Our 'urns' are bought and paid for and I will be buying the niche repositories later this year.
I FORCED him to make a will--for which he was grateful, He's the kind of guy who just lets life happen around him.
I have a 'plan' for retirement if he is still living and one for if he is not.
Financially I will be fine, which is my goal. All 5 of my kids have offered for me to live with them--nope and nope. (Not ONE would take their dad in---they've all said he'd go straight from my funeral to a NH).
I don't dwell on this. I simply plan and put it to paper and then when/if it happens, I will be prepared.
I think it IS psychologically healthy, Ignoring a situation that is very likely to come to pass is just ignoring the 'what ifs' of life.
And yes, the plans change a little from time to time, but basically, it's a move closer to my 2 daughters and hopefully a life filled with positive things. My grandmother was a widow for 36 years. She did it with such dignity and poise--I have that as an example. I know it won't be easy, but marriage has been pretty hard.