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Find a VSO (Veteran Service Officer) in your state on the web. Find your Dad's DD-214 form (discharge from the military) and don't waste your time with VA Social Workers, who are civilian contractors and totally useless.
Find a certified VSO who will help you. He sounds like he has dementia and is a "flight risk." He cannot safely live alone. He has COPD, which is terminal. Tell the VSO you want him placed in a VA Community facility. He can use his Social Security for that, since they take 55% of his income for his room and board.
Leave that Life Insurance as it is. He's the only one who can cash it out anyway. Warn his doctor he wants to escape to Vegas. You cannot care for him, so he would be a very "unsafe discharge."
YOUR MISSION IS TO FIND A CERTIFIED VSO FIRST.
Does your dad have a % of "service connected disability"? If you are not aware of any you might want to look into it. The higher % the more benefits he may be entitled to.
You might also want to ask if he is Hospice eligible. If so the VA may keep him in a VA facility.
Another thing to look into, if you are able to care for him you might be able to be paid to care for him. And there are programs the VA has that will help keep a Veteran at home rather than in a facility. (If you can safely care for him and this is an option)
My #1 recommendation is Do Not use any of your own money to pay for any of this, if Dads income doesn’t provide enough there should be some program or arrangement that enables him to get care, how would he be getting it if you weren’t in the picture? I know some states have programs that use the patient's monthly income and then Medicaid picks up the rest but your father has VA benefits as well so there should be a way that is NOT you. If you can’t get good guidance from the facility he’s in (they accepted him believing he would qualify for Medicaid apparently), the VA who sent him or the Agency on Aging or whatever your states equivalent is then it’s well worth consulting with an attorney or someone well versed in Medicaid planning and application for your state.
The LTC facility he gets placed in will take his monthly income and then they will do a Medicaid application for him.
Nursing homes generally expect every asset a person has to be cash liquidated imemdiately and all the money handed over to them in advance of services provided.
Do talk to a lawyer though. That whole life policy may not have to be cashed out depending on how old it is.
There are programs available through Medicaid to help pay him pay for his care. We have one here called IRIS. They are wonderful! You can choose your own caregivers, including family to be caregivers. They will help pay for other expenses as well. So, it there is anything he needs in his home or if there is therapy or outside activities he is interested in they will help cover those. You would often have to make sure it is not covered by his insurance first, but then they would pick up the cost after that. He can stay in his home and get the care he needs.
In my State you have 90 days from date of application to get Medicaid the info they need, spend-down and place the person. For my Mom I started the application in April, she was placed May 1st. She had 20k that paid for May and June. I confirmed in June that Medicaid received everything needed and I provided them with her bank statement showing she was now under the asset limit. She was under the income limit. July 1st Medicaid started.
I agree, call your Office of Aging for an appt and have them explain how to proceed.
Are you his FPoA? Is anyone his PoA?
Does he have a house? A car? Any other assets that can be sold?
In my area, memory care is under the Assisted Living umbrella and medicaid does not pay. So if it's the same in TX, he will just be in a regular nursing home.
Good luck.