By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Your option would be either take what he has left and pay a caretaker or private pay for a nice NH who excepts Medicaid. I chose to private pay 2 months for Mom in a NH. I applied for Medicaid in April, placed Mom May 1st, she paid for May and June and Medicaid started July 1st.
Its not fair to the son to care for your Dad when he has his own Mom. I think now is tge time to make the decision concerning his long term care.
"I am 68 yr old daughter of 96 yr old father. He is living independently with 96 yr old companion. He recently(4 months ago) started some dementia. He calls me almost every night asking about "his papers". His night time confusion is extending to daytime."
His regularly occurring night time confusion is a dementia behavior called Sundowning. They are not quite sure why it happens, but theories are that the shadows that happen in the afternoon and evenings confuse people with dementia, another thought is that they start to get tired towards the end of the day and it affects their ability to process and interpret their thoughts. A temporary fix could be to add brighter lightbulbs in his home and then turn on lights earlier in the day even if you think they aren't yet needed. I have had success doing this with my 99-yr old Aunt. It also helps to introduce a distraction at this part of the day, like going outside for a walk, doing a task (like folding kitchen towels, sorting & pairing socks, anything he's willing to do) or watching a light-hearted DVD (nothing negative, tense or scary). I also had success with my Aunt using these strategies.
Your bigger question is about his care in the near future. Are you his durable PoA? Is anyone his PoA? If he has one, this is the person who now needs to step in. Does your dad have an actual diagnosis of cognitive/memory impairment in his medical records? If not, this will need to happen (and if he hasn't yet legally assigned a PoA, the diagnosis should come *after* him signing PoA paperwork).
With "blended" families, there can often be confusion about which adult children perform what roles for which parent. Has your dad been with this companion a long time? Long enough that it is considered like a legal marriage in his state? Laws on this will differ by state.
What does his companion's son think of this situation? I'm thinking you will need to have an open discussion with him since this may impact his living arrangement and his mom. Knowing this info will help forum participants to give you better guidance on what to do.
In the end much will depend on whether you are his PoA and if his companion is his legal partner and will be moving with him, and who is her PoA. You can start researching caregiving agencies and facilities. Not every state's Medicaid will pay for AL, only MC or LTC, some will provide an Elder Waiver which pays for some of AL so you should find this out for his state.
If he has no PoA and refuses to create one, then you can help him to a point that he allows but then will need to allow the county to help him. They can be called in to perform an in-home needs assessment for some services (light housekeeping, meal prep, hygiene) but in the end it won't be full-time 24/7. Without a PoA and his cooperation the county will need to gain guardianship to manage his affairs. Too soon to go there in this conversation -- sorry it's so long. Any more detail you can provide will be helpful.