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Remember, YOU make the rules and the MC follows then with regard to who's allowed to take dad at and during which hours.
People who are not confronted with the sudden changes in a person's behavior are not aware of what caregivers are subjected to on a daily basis. You realize your loved one is no longer able to tolerate normal activities outside of the home. This is the progression of the disease.
You could ask the friend to please tape the race and bring a video to show dad during the day when he is at his best.
I would also explain that it is getting more difficult to take dad out of the facility and dad does love the visit but next time you want to have lunch with him bring a lunch and sit in the Family Room or take him out to the "garden area" (if there is one) and have a leisurely lunch there.
I stopped taking my Husband out, and this was WITH a caregiver, when I had to get down on the ground and turn my Husbands feet while the caregiver helped him turn his body so he could sit in the car.
Another time my Husband sat down in the car before I could help him and he sat not on the seat but in the area where your feet and legs go! (I had parked facing a different way and he was used to getting in and turning one way to sit on the seat, with the car turned the other way he made the same maneuver and ended up sitting kinda on the floor) Trying to get a 6'4" 275 pound person up from that position was a nightmare!
Bottom line..if it is no longer safe to take them out they stay put.
I would say that since you are seeing that Dad is uncomfortable going out and asks to go back , that you should tell these friends not to take him out.
Your Dad is most likely doing the same when they take him out and then they may be going on and on about how great is is to go out etc etc thinking that the more they encourage him the more he’ll want to go out.
These friends don’t understand , and you don’t owe them an explanation. You can tell them they can’t take him out . If they ask why tell them Dad is uncomfortable going out and tell them if they want to learn more about Dementia they can google it .
I also understand you even be leery if these people take Dad out to lunch, as it sounds like they wouldn’t know what to do if he had a meltdown . They can bring lunch to him and eat with him .
LO took a plastic piece off a holiday display at a medical office. He thought it was pretty and refused to put it back. The nurse laughed and said he could keep it, but what will he take next time? Are the friends prepared to manage crises like that?
LO was at dentist for teeth cleaning. He tried to get on the hygienist’s chair with his feet where his head should go. This was easy enough to correct, but what will he do next, and where?
Dementia behavior can quickly turn inappropriate. Then it’s best to stay home.
I will also say, that sounds a little much, the noise, and people. Big difference from an afternoon lunch, in my opinion
Best of luck.
Suggest another lunch out or coffee out or even just driving around.