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Also, having Healthcare Proxy/Medical Power of Attorney and DPOA, for Dad with additional names listed would be good for someone (i.e. niece, nephew, adult grandchildren). other than your brother to have for your dad, so your brother can concentrate on himself, wife, and son. (And same paperwork for your brother.)
I was even sent information on VA support for caregivers.
If you need VA assistance in qualifying your father for additional programs, the Social Worker could probably help, or contact one of the services organizations such as the VFW or American Legion.
What about your mother? Will she be remaining in the house? Where does the member with Autism live?
I would like to emphasize though that your brother should execute both medical and financial powers of attorney, perhaps when he has some good days or has his short and long term care plans in place. Someone may have to make some decisions as the cancer runs its course.
I would also suggest that the family do two other things:
1. Reach out to Gilda's Club, which provides support and activities focused specifically for families dealing with cancer. In my area, the GC even had support groups for specific types of cancer.
2. Read the CURE magazine, either online, or get a subscription, free to those with cancer or their caregivers. There are a lot of good articles, ranging from technical to practical.
Begin to make plans for later stages when more help will be needed. Will it be at your brother's home? Will his oncologist script for in-home care? What foods can you consider that will provide nourishment as his appetite decreases?
If he's getting chemo, try to work out schedules with family or friends to take him to and from chemo, with plans for significant rest after any session. Same with radiation.
Create an area in the home that doesn't require going up stairs, which could become impossible to do as the cancer progresses. My sister moved down to the first floor and slept on a large and long sectional. We arranged end tables around her, with things she needed - phone, address book, appointment calendar, chapstick, meds, etc. I had friends help haul down 2 mattresses and slept on them at the end of the sectional, so I was always available if she needed help.
As the cancer progresses, movement becomes more challenging, so "hunkering down" in one area is best for the patient.
Either through Gilda's Club, CURE or other sources, learn about the various side effects and how to deal with them. One that was totally unexpected was what my sister identified as a "bacterial shower", although I think now that term isn't used. It occurred after her PICC line was flushed; some bacteria apparently entered the PICC line and was flushed through it, resulting in violent shaking and chills. It was frightening.
Being a nurse, she knew what was happening, and told me to rush her back into the infusion center where nurses administered Tylenol. Still, she shook and was literally freezing for about 1/2 an hour.
This was very, very unsettling; it's fortunate she knew what to do because I didn't.
Another important issue would be to find someone else, within the family or hired, to care for your brother's parents and the younger child with autism. With his own cancer diagnosis, it will be impossible for him to care for so many people.
I'm always sorry to learn of a cancer diagnosis, and hope that my suggestions can help you and your family on this unwanted journey.
But remember, 14 months is only a prediction; people can live longer, or perhaps not as long. My sister lived 6 months longer than her oncologist predicted.