By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
Yes, you are right, it really does make me cross. Just remember that the family did not promise how they would be treated when they stayed at home. You need to make the facility seem like a better option. That's if the family wants to stick to the promise. And just check if any of them are divorced, and how they coped with breaking the 'marriage' promises when things turned out to be different from expected.
Give them the option of staying in ‘their home’ with very little support, or alternatively agreeing to go into a care facility. Two days with minimal food and care will probably do it. If you like, leave them to spoon up flaked oats and milk,. That's particularly healthy in the short term but terribly boring. Then they can change their own minds.
You should take over the care and management of your sister immediately so you can place her in a SNF with Medicaid funding the bill. Let your niece and her DH off the hook for all of this. They've done more than enough.
No one cares about well intentioned but ignorant promises about not putting them in a facility.
It would be better to place your sister in a skilled nursing facility using Medicaid (which is different from Medicare). That way your brother-in-law will know his wife is in an environment where it takes a village to help her. And now he and their daughter can get a restful night sleep.
In my opinion the person responsible for making them promise wanted to relieve themselves of any accountability for this situation. And place all fault on the caregiver if they are to be placed.
I hope your niece doesn't feel guilt that this situation is heading to placement.
All night long. Drove me crazy!
One thing that helped me was a medication, Trazodone. It is very safe and it knocked him out, when no other drugs would.
Another thing that helped me was moving out of our tiny one bedroom apartment into a larger house. I now sleep in the spare bedroom. He still has nights that he can't sleep and moans, groans and yells for help all night long.
I simply can't get far enough away to not be bothered by it.
For the most part, he is on a regular sleeping schedule, with the help of Trazodone and now Depakote, which I give 30 min to an hour before bedtime.
Keeping a consistent routine is very helpful. Not overstimulating the person with dementia is also advised. Any change in routine or overstimulation can cause the nighttime agitation.
Does she have a tv, or large computer screen in the bedroom? You can play soothing scenery and music, or really simple animated movies. My husband watched animated movies over and over again, like a young child. That may help to distract her and keep her calmer.
I wish you all well. I know how frustrating this is! It's awful!
If she can qualify for hospice care or a nursing home, that would be best.
If it's their income won't allow this extra expense, try asking family members if they can assume some of the other bills the couple has to pay or contribute to the extra help expense. Maybe someone in the family can afford to help financially even if they won't help physically. Are there any expenses that could be cut off in order to come up with some extra cash? Prioritize all the bills to see if some are luxury while others are necessary.
There should be much concern for the niece and BIL. They will wear out. They may have to work out shifts between the two so that one is sleeping while the other manages care.
I would see an elder law attorney to work on placement that will accept, for the two of them, their income, with Medicaid applied for once income exhausted.
I am so sorry. Sounds as though this just isn't working, and I don't think there is any longer affordable in home care over more than a couple of hours a few times a week, which just won't help you.
I sure do wish you the best of luck.