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Then again, we have to put ourselves in their shoes. Getting older is no fun. They wake up with a lot of aches and pain. They want to keep proving that they are young enough to maintain their house. I remember my Dad shoveling at 94. They no longer can hop into the car to go shopping. Their friends have either moved away or had passed on. They can no longer hear as well, see as well, and food no longer tastes the same.
My Mom also turned up her nose to a retirement community. "Oh, maybe in a couple of years". Say what? Guess that meant when Mom is 100 she might consider it.
What to do in this case? Really there is nothing we can do except wait. Wait for the next medical emergency where 911 is called, the parent goes to the hospital, then into rehab, and probably into Assisted Living or a nursing home.
Three days after my Mom told the caregivers to remove themselves from the premises, Mom had a very serious fall, and lived her remaining months in long-term-care. Oh, if only she wasn't so stubborn. After Mom passed, Dad moved into a retirement community and enjoyed being there, but was very sad that Mom wasn't there to join him. But he knew a team of wild horses wouldn't have budged her from their house.... [sigh].
My mother is 82, my father passed in June. She will not see a doctor at all.
She insists on driving. She gets irate with me when I tell her we need to got to the doctor. It is clear to everyone she has dementia.
I am concerned about insulting her about her hygiene, but I can tell she does not bathe.
She does not want help, but I asked my 21 year-old son to move in with her to make sure she is basically ok. I see her almost daily to take care of her finances and to check on her.
I too am looking for advice on how to proceed with my mother medically. She says the doctors are morons, who just want to tell you you have Alzheimer's. I know this is fear talking, but it is exhausting.