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If you are doing the caregiving, and being ordered around by a controlling person, choose: 1) Back them down, explain that you understand they have concerns and want to give their input, but there is a limit. 2) Allow them to do the caregiving if they are competent. 3) Is a person who is so controlling as to have the need to choose which market you shop really able to make good decisions for the person needing care?
Use boundaries. You are busy, and will talk to them another day.
Ask them to do something specific. Have them pick up groceries at their favorite market and deliver them, at their expense. Thank them for their support-fibbing if you must.
Unless you, as caregiver, are receiving some support by talking to a family member, talk to them less and less. imo.
"Mom, if you are going to constantly tattle on me, then maybe you should go live with oldest sibling" It will give me a much needed break".
We had a poster here named NeedsHelpWithMom. You can search her posts. Her mom lived with her for 15 years, mom stirred the pot with brothers who did nothing and refused daughter's requests to hire outside help. When daughter set some boundaries, mom called brothers to tattle. Daughter said, so go live with them!
Mom left, now has to pay caregivers because Brother and SIL aren't doing all that work. Daughter has her life back!
Beware of parents who play their kids against each other. I would take a giant step back from what you are providing.