By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
You will not change your Mother. It is up to you to protect yourself from your mother by staying out of her shooting range. As to your siblings, you can only inform them what YOU will do to protect yourself and let them make their own decisions.
If worrying about Mom's future division of assets is what the driver is in all of this then there will be some suffering expected with possible recompense in the future, but quite possibly with NONE. She likely is leaving this money to a cat shelter.
PS: After reading others responses to you I see there is dementia involved, so would also advise that you understand that with dementias it is often the disease talkiing, not the Mom.
Your mom should be worried about your sister, valley fever could very well take her life, my stepdads brother died from it, most miserable death. Is your sister getting good care?
Your mom needs to do a will, because POA ends at death and she won't be able to do anything unless she is named executor of the will. She should choose a secondary, if your sister is sick, she won't have the physical ability to deal with moms estate. She should do a new POA as well, your sister doesn't need the stress while battling VF.
If your mom is far gone in dementia, it will be difficult to find an attorney to do this will. Unless she can stick to the point and agree, without prompting, that she has made the choices in the will, most won't create it. So you will have to get her to hand write it with 2 witnesses that aren't beneficiaries.
Don't let anyone tell you that your mom can't this because she has dementia, because only a court of law can declare someone incompetent and take away their legal autonomy.
I would have an account set up as POD to the person that will fulfill her wishes. This can help her feel less stressed and still keep the money available for her care.
You are all adults and no longer under her authority. So please, do not kill yourselves trying to placate a demented brain, it's a losing situation. Her needs, not wants are what are important now. Especially if she is using all of you to prop up the facade of independence.
Remember, you all matter too.
In your mind and heart you will need to separate the disease from the person. If you can't do this then perhaps consider having someone else or an agency provide her future care. Everything about dementia is hard, as can the legions of people on this forum attest.