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Let the caregiver express her own personality. Do you know how boring it is to be with an immobile demented patient for hours and hours and hours? It makes caregiver happy to keep your mom looking nice, so be glad she's not letting mom lie there all day with her hair hanging in her eyes and no one to talk to. Let her manicure your mom's nails if she wants. Or give her a pedicure. Anything to ward off the stultifying boredom of what they're both going through.
My mom's caregiver during her dementia dressed her carefully in her nice clothes every day. She cut her hair and curled it. She put mom's pearls on her and they chose the earrings for the day together. Mom's nails were usually nicely lacquered and her makeup on - lipstick, eyebrow pencil. This gave them something to do, something in common, and smiles. Because right around the corner, mom was going to die in a horrible way. Why not enjoy what you can while you can?
As for the baby talk, so what? It might irritate you, but you have all your brain. It may be just what your mom wants and needs, a feeling that someone is nurturing and caring, just like when she was a well-loved little girl. Which hopefully she is again in her own brain.
Let it go...do you know how lucky you are to have a caregiver who is providing all of the necessities of daily living. Don't we all love to be pampered. There is a labor shortage nation wide. Believe me, caregivers are not overpaid, more like overworked, underpaid and it is back-breaking work.
You have to speak slow, calm and loving with dementia patients.
I wish you could send her over to my place. I need someone to do my hair!
I don't feel like baby talk is devaluing to an elder w dementia unless THE ELDER feels devalued by that type of talk. When my mom lived in Memory Care Assisted Living, her "girls" told her "I love you Joann" all the time and it was a beautiful sentiment that came from the heart. Sure the caregivers are paid, as any and all employees on earth are, but these gals genuinely cared about mom and SHE felt it. She was touched by their feelings for her, which added to her experience in Memory Care. Not everyone has ulterior motives or bad intentions when caring for elders in their own way, thats been my experience over the years. When I was a CG myself, I genuinely cared for the 2 clients I had become close to over time. It happens.
Anyway, I'd leave things alone unless mom seems bothered or uncomfortable by the way her CG is treating her. As far as hair ornaments go, maybe they help mom feel pretty or a bit dressed up for the day. Just my 2 cents on the matter.
Baby talk would absolutely drive me crazy but if it makes someone else feel special, I say, go with the flow.
If your mother is bothered by it, then you refer the caregiver back to her person-centered care guidelines.
Barettes and baby talk are expressions of love and it might not be the love language you respond to but if it makes your mom have a good day in the 36 hour day, let it be.
You also don’t know how this will be received. Imagine if the caregiver goes extreme and becomes super cold and grey rock on your mom, doing the bare minimum.
I can see how it could annoy you but you are not the human at the center of this issue.
However....try to overcome your annoyance and let it go.
If this particular caregiver is "very good at the technical caregiving (bathing, dressing, changing, feeding).." then overlook the other things that annoy you but are harmless and may actually be giving your mother comfort.
I have 3 caregivers currently and each one of them annoys me in her own way but they're not caring for me, and they are kind to my mother while I get out for a couple of hours.
Peace.
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