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She passed away this week but not related to the feeding tube but rather her heart and everything else just started shutting down at the end of last week.
I am told she did not really suffer the last few days but her signs just grew weaker until everything just quit.
I want to start by saying that you are an amazing, and intelligent person! Your response to MarieAnne was inspiring! My mother was recommended, and accepted to the hospice program after her last visit to the hospital! Her main medical problems are recurring UTIs. She has mid stages of dementia, but certainly not terminally ill! She recently developed dysphasia due to her dementia. Therefore, she can’t swallow solid foods. She has lost a lot of weight and is malnourished! I decided to put a PEG feeding tube! I cannot bare to see her starve to death! Much to my surprise, the hospice administrators and Doctors said that if I do that, that I must take my mother out of the program! Without hesitation, I said I’m going to do it anyway! She’s 94 but before the dysphagia, she was a strong puppy! The hospice people were brainwashing me and told me my mom had only six months to live. Well certainly if I don’t feed her, she’ll die in 2 months. The way I see a feeding tube for my mother is an umbilical cord just like the one she fed me with while in her womb. And as you say, when the creator calls, that’s when we go. Nobody knows when that will be! For now I am going to take advantages of all medical, and scientific advances to prolong my mom’s life without making her suffer in any way! Thank you for your eloquent answer! It gave me courage and confident in my difficult decision! May God bless you!!
In my dad's case he had a stroke, then a feeding tube because he couldn't swallow. It worked until he had 2 more strokes and was actively dying.
The liquid food wouldn't absorb. They could no longer feed him. The decision was made to let him "go". I could see for myself that he wasn't able to process the liquid. He passed within 2 days.
The hospice doctor explained that the death process is not like the living. The organs are shutting down and the patient is in another realm, that there is no hunger or thirst.
It was such a hard time but, because his stomach wouldn't process the food, the decision was already made for me.
Or thirsty. Do you think prolonging his life in his current condition would be what he wants? I wouldn’t want that but everyone is different. Make sure your decisions are in his best interest and not
determined out of your grief. I’m so sorry you are going through
this.
Things didn't go as we hoped for. He has been in a hospital for 6 weeks now & last 3 weeks asleep. Wakes up very rarely. He cant talk or eat on his own. They put a feeding tube few weeks ago. His MRI result keeps getting worse & the doctor says he ither has a fludarabin neurotoxicity or his lymphoma spread to his brain. She says brain biopsy would tell for sure but she doesn't want to cause him any more discomfort.
She recommends we take his feeding tube out.
I am heartbroken & don't know what to do...
I just cant find peace in knowing that he will starve & dehydrate to death but she says patients like him won't feel it.
I don't know what to do.... help...
I'm sorry for the loss of your mom. Your mom was cognizant enough not to have the tube. You followed her wishes so no need for you to feel guilty. Feeding tubes are just a nice way for the hospital to make more money. Reason, most people receive the bulkier PEG tube instead of the simpler J tube.
Since you are praying for a good result, keep hoping. Now, I too am going to be praying!
The longest I have ever heard of was 5 years for an adult and 10 years for a child. But that all depends on health.
This is hard to see your mom unable to walk or talk. I struggle each day. I cherish each time she says a word or so that I understand. Its like hearing your child say their first words. Hospice is wonderful in helping mom be at peace in her last stage of life. If I am not mistaken your mom can qualify for hospice even with feed tube cause it is preexisting before Hospice approval. The hospice nurse told me that if I chose a feed tube for mom, I would have to take her off Hospice, get the tube, and have her reinstated.
So that is something you could check into if interested.