By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
1.).. You and other members of your family should look into a Support Group.There are support groups for spouses or significant others as well as family and caregivers.
2.).. Start now getting papers in order. POA for Health Care and Finances. I suggest 2 different people. If your Mom is not around you may need to establish Guardianship. I suggest you talk to a lawyer that specializes in Elder Law.
3.).. Decide now with your Dad's input if possible what course of action you will take if he needs Assisted Living then Memory Care. And I can almost guarantee he will later deny that he agreed to enter a facility.
4.).. Decide if you are going to keep him at home what your role will be and if there are other family members what they will do. And if you have funds, rather your Dad has funds to hire caregivers. You will eventually need someone with him 24/7.
5.).. Look into all avenues of help that might be available to you/him. Is he a Veteran? if so the VA might be a great place to start. If you have a Senior Services Agency in your area call them. Is he eligible for Medicaid? If so get the paperwork started Yesterday!
6.).. Realize now that this is a fatal disease and no medication will stop it. He will get worse. There may be a slow progression or it may be fast or it will be a bit of both.
Appreciate the little things now.
Do everything you can to eliminate his frustration as that will make things easier for you.
Change 2 words in your vocabulary. Do not say He WON'T do..... to He CAN'T do.. You can not get angry or upset at something that he can't do any longer. The not doing is not of his choice.
Once you are on Hospice you will also have access to a Social Worker that may help find other resources for you. The Hospice that we are with has volunteers that will come in and sit with your Mom while you run errands. Volunteers usually can not do "hands on" care but will be able to help with eating and helping to clean up.
The worst that can happen when making a call to Hospice to determine if a person is eligible is that the answer will be NO.
CALL!!!
Oh, cal a few and ask about their services and how they operate. There are For Profit Hospice and Non Profit Hospice. The one I am with is a Non Profit and I think that may make a difference in the quality of care. (personal opinion on that)
I'm so very sorry your family is going through this!
How sorry I am for your family , that your mom is stricken with this horrible disease at such a young age.
Ativan could be a reason she's falling out of bed and/or is agitated. The following information is an excerpt from Drugs.com;
COMMON Ativan side effects may include:
dizziness, drowsiness, weakness, slurred speech, lack of balance or
coordination*, memory problems or feeling unsteady*. (My * placement)
Her MD or Hospice team could either wean her off the Ativan and not medicate her for the anxiety (probably not a good choice) or try another benzodiazepine to calm her (Xanax, Valium, etc.) or better, have her evaluated by a geriatric psychiatrist to see what can be done.
Hospice should provide a hospital bed with rails for your mom. Maybe that would help her from falling out of bed. Your dad's health will start to suffer if he continues in this mode. No one can live like this for very long. Can he apply for assistance from the government (Medicare, Medi-Cal/Medicaid, etc.) to get a home health aide or caregiver to relieve him for a few hours a day? Unfortunately, a nursing home or memory facility may be a better choice at this point but some families are not receptive to that. As Babalou mentioned, she should be evaluated for pain also.
I would have the Hospice MD evaluate her immediately to see what can be done for her. That's the whole reason for Hospice, is to relieve suffering. Anxiety (or pain) and screaming 10 hours a day IS suffering, whether you have dementia or not.
My mother was in stage 5 when evaluated by a geriatric MD. I asked him how long could she survive (she's healthy as a horse at 93) and he told me 2-4 years. She has now progressed to stage 6 and is still eating well, sleeping well, eliminating on her own, walking pretty well and physically functioning as good as can be expected.
Since your mom has many complications, (diabetes, heart failure, kidney failure and high blood pressure) her prognosis will be different. Best to get her checked out by a doctor specializing in dementia and ask his/her opinion on what should be done to help your mom (including placement in a memory facility).
I'll include your family in my prayers.
My husband had stopped talking quite a few years ago. Probably the last time he said "I am waiting for my wife" was 3 years ago maybe a bit longer. But even after a broken hip 3 years ago he walked (with a walker) up until August of 2015. He fed himself and drank by himself up until mid September 2016, He would still kiss me good by or hold my hand up until 1 week ago. He passed this past Tuesday.
As you can see variety of thins one can/could do vary.
So you can go by guidelines but focus on the individual signs and symptoms. YOU know the person better than anyone and YOU are the one that will be able to tell then the final stages are closer.
Should read..
As you can see the variety or things one can/could do vary......
At my mothers age and condition; once this happens, I will consult Hospice and Palliative care first before I make decisions. I've watched too many people suffer for weeks and then call in Hospice or palliative care once its too late.
I bathe her & make her as comfortable as possible but have made peace with the fact that I am losing her. Thanks once again.
So difficult for family members to let go. I think that all Alzeimer's patients, having accepted the inevitability of their diagnosis, should while they still have a sound mind, make an Advanced Directive document, Living Will, or sign a consent form to refuse aggressive life-continuing treatments in the final stages of their disease. A DNR (Do not resuscitate) order is not sufficient.
She has been in late stage dementia for over 4 years. Her hunger is still there so she finishes her meals, even if they are pureed. She drinks her fortified shakes. And she speaks, mostly garbled, but still speaks. She is in a wheelchair or in bed. Totally incontinent and starting to contort her legs and fingers. She has a pressure wound on her foot that grew quite large, but we have it under control now. It has been a full year with this wound and we see a specialist every 6 weeks and have it treated every other day with a home health care nurse. Hospice wanted to do away with the specialist visits and did not treat the wound like the home health care nurse did. They instead did a version of that treatment which showed they did not intend to get it better, but maintained that it is what it is and will probably get worse. I did not like that attitude at all. So I just continue to alter between one version of care and the possibility of hospice which would let it get out of control and probably kill her. So this is hard for me. It would be one thing if mom had cancer and I knew it was killing her and she had just a few weeks left. With this food wound, if I called in hospice, it would really be me giving her the death penalty a lot earlier than she would if she had the proper care. The guilt is killing me, but I also do not want her going to the hospital for a fall or broken hip or anything like that because she does not need major medical intervention at the stage of the game. I am rambling now, so I will stop here. Thanks for listening.