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It is not so much just the frequency of forgetting as the nature of what is forgotten and their reaction to it.
Dementia has other components in addition to memory loss. (Different kinds of dementia have different characteristics.) These may include hallucinations, delusions, paranoia, problems with depth perception, sleep disturbances, difficulty in coming up with even obvious solutions, anxiety over decision making, loss of sense of smell, and many more.
If grandmother develops additional symptoms that could be dementia, it may be time to get her evaluated.
For now, you know what grandmother's behavior is like. Whether you have a label for it or not, it is what it is and it is what you have to deal with. There are no cures for dementia and very little in the way of treatment plans.
In what way do you think having a diagnosis would change things for you?
From my experience, cognitive decline and/or dementia doesn't always initially present itself with memory problems. What I observed was more in the line of POOR judgment, apathy and agitation. I couldn't figure out why my LO wouldn't do things that they would have in the past, like wash hands before handling food? Why would they insist on wearing diapers, when they were perfectly capable of going to the bathroom? Why would they be so cross and disagreeable, for no reason? I struggled with this and even questioned health care workers, who said the patient was lazy and spoiled. But, they were wrong. It was dementia in the early stages. Later, it became clear what was happening.
During this time, someone asked me about dementia and I said, NO way, her memory is fine. But, then the memory went too. Even though I had seen the odd behavior, I was still shocked when her GP diagnosed with dementia in an office visit with a Mini Eval.
So, I'd make a list of your observations and discuss with a professional who will be familiar with symptoms and able to order appropriate tests, if that is what you feel you need. When dementia is obvious, some people, don't get further tests to determine why and more details. I did have further tests with a neurologist with my LO and it confirmed the GP's diagnosis of Vascular Dementia, but, my LO was so young (62), I felt that further testing was appropriate.
I hope you can find the answers you are looking for.
When my DIL was in MEd School DH and I had flown out to CT to visit the "kids". We were both seriously jet-lagged from the redeye flight and exhausted--the kids had slept all night and were full of energy. We wanted to go to sleep, DIL said "Come for a drive, we'll show you New Haven and I can practice my dementia testing on two people I KNOW don't have dementia!" Ok, we go for the ride and we are so both exhausted that we failed, and failed EPICALLY the "verbal" dementia test. We didn't know what county we were in, we weren't sure what the date was, we didn't know the name of the mayor or governor or what "our" address what.
My DIL got a real kick out of that. I've never forgotten the completely "lost" feeling I had. I truly DIDN'T know a lot of the answers, as I didn't live in CT and had actually never been there before, but due to being so tired, I wasn't even sure who the President was. Made me a lot more sensitive to my parents as they went down that slope. It's very frustrating--esp when you know you know something, but can't drag it out of the recesses of your mind. I imagine real dementia feels like that.
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