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I’ve talked with friends and counselors for perspective and advice.
I know they have support groups that might help with information.
Guilt? Why would what you feel about your family be guilt?
What have you done that you ought not to have done?
What have you not done that you ought to have done?
Everything except move in with her...
Would moving in with your mother, just imagining that it were even possible, make her happy, healthy and safe forever? Would it win her her daughters' forgiveness? Would it change the past? Would it reconcile everyone to one another?
I never do seem to put this quite right but bear with me. One thing we can do for people we love is accept a) what they are like and b) the fact of what has happened, without apportioning blame. Your sisters are estranged from your mother. They have their reasons. They need to stay away from her. Can that not be just what is, rather than something you have to solve?
I'm leaving this thought there - what I'm getting at is trying to find a way of being fairer in your expectations of both others and yourself.
Lots of praying and tears.
I am an only child, and my father is deceased. I have a wonderful husband, whom I want to protect what my almost 88 year old mother is doing through. She worries so much that it is making her physically and emotionally sick; to the point of her body shakes. I spoke with her doctor about some things, and she prescribed Remeron to help with anxiety and eating. My mom took one pill; she didn't sleep a wink during the night, and will not take another. She needs some help. She is lonely, since she has outlived all of her friends. She goes to the beaut parlor and church, but is very difficulty for her to emotionally get ready. I want to help her so badly. She often times says she wants my husband and I to move in with her, or she with us. I keep telling her that is not going to happen, for various reasons. I believe that it would not be healthy for my marriage. I wouldn't even mention it to my husband, because I know the answer. I am having a time emotionally with her now, and she lives 10 minutes away, I know I couldn't handle it in the house. During the night, when I wake up, I am continuously praying for God's help for her and me. Sometimes, I get a sick feeling thinking about what she is going through. I go by and see her every other day. I would every day, but she doesn't want that due to nosy neighbors. I buy her groceries, cook for her, eventhough I am not a great cook (grill mostly). I am trying to keep it together. I finally had a crying jag (wailing more like it) in front of her this weekend when I told her I talked to her doctor about meds. I then had a screaming to the top of my lungs in frustration the next day, when my mother told me that she didn't sleep a wink that night that she took one pill. She said that I hope I was happy. She calls me about 20 times a day to go over and over the same ole stuff. I keep telling her that there is no need to call me like that. I always call her every hour or hour and a half to check on her. She can't wait for that amount of time. I am never late on the time that I say I am going to call. Then I feel guilty. When she called me ahead of my time to call her yesterday, she said that she knew I was going to fuss at her, but she couldn't help it. So yes, I feel bad and guilty, but all of this is really getting to me, and it really has been since December of 2018. The passed out in her home, fell on kitchen floor, hit her head, through up blood from a bleeding ulcer. All of that was traumatic for her and my husband and I . She had never been in the hospital, but spent 2 nights. She has been downhill ever since.
Is it time for her to have more care?
What help does she have with her care now?
Can she afford to private pay for care?