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If you are unwilling to do what your parents need to remain in their home, tell them straight out " I can't do this any more". They will need to make other arrangements.
I've never found hinting at things to be effective. Saying "no" straight out gets the issue out in the open.
Refuses to go anywhere else
I think because once her mom was placed in a nursing home and passed she thinks she is going to be just like that
Already checked assisted living.
too expensive
Have in home care at the moment
Just checking VA ECT know I can't do it alone
Between both mom and dad's in home care, the girls have helped me out alot so far
Been basically a caregiver all my life, but taking care of my parent's is truly difficult
People suffering from Demenia should not be alone. Do you have DPOA?
Maybe a sit down. Explain that you need to work. That you can't be there all the time so they need to hire someone to do for them what you can't.
There will come a time that your parents will need more care than you can give. It will not be what parents want but what they need. You may want to start dropping hints about an AL. Tell them what you can and can't do.
Just trying to prepare for down the road
Do they have the finances to be able to hire a caregiver that can come in? Maybe start with a few hours a week to help out then increase the time to a full day then 2 full days and so on.
Is your dad a Veteran? If so there are programs the VA has that might help out.
Have you thought about Adult Day Care for both of them? This would give them something to do, be with people.
The other thing you need to consider...at some point they will not be able to stay alone in their home. What is the next step? Are you going to move them in with you? Is your home ready for that? Are you going to look for Memory Care for them? It might be wise to plan a year or more in advance.
Spoke to dad's case manager also to see if eligible for Navacare since they increased money.
No they don't have the finances and they live in there house that my brothers and I own.
He has home care now, but only 5hrs a week with 1hr personal care.
Checking day care.
Mom has mild dementia. Some days good, but when she gets nervous she gets confused.
Got dad some hearing aids coming and making appt for eyes
Brought it up again for future needs and he got irritated and then mother thought I was going to put them in a nursing home.
Trying to get things situated while still working but it is hard. Not due to retire yet.got 2 yrs to go