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NONE of the decisions are “good”, but sometimes they are the best we can arrange for.
The decline you see may be resulting from her being able to let someone else do for her what you were trying to do at home. The psychiatrist who assessed my LO when she entered her memory care unit told me that my LO was attempting to use every bit of her energy to keep her family from knowing how confused and forgetful she actually was.
In her MC, she was able to relax and not worry about whether we knew how confused she actually was.
Final thought - whether you decide to feel guilty or decide not to, your job is to do whatever you can to get her the best care possible, and your guilt can’t change you goal to do that.
If you get sick, you go see a doctor, get some Rx, go home, rest and get better.
If you get really sick, you go to a hospital to get treatment, get well, go home.
If you STAY really sick chronically, you STAY in a hospital for the chronically sick called nursing home, there you stay because you don't get better enough to go home.
If you have enough money to pay for hospital staff to come to your/her home and take care of her around the clock, then you can take her home. Most people can't afford that. So if you take her home without having the medical care support, then you're doing her a disservice.
It's hard not to feel bad that she's not at home, but when that guilty feeling comes up, try to look at things logically.
During these hard times, many families have chosen to send meals to nursing homes for the staff who are caring for their family members. Extending your love and kindness to the staff who are caring for your mother may help you feel better about your decision.
Also, remember that you still can advocate for your mother. Discuss with the nursing home director about focusing on your mom's quality of life.