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I am exhausted all the time. He doesn't sleep at night, no meds will work to get him to sleep at night.
When i visited the facility for respite care, I was happy to see all the activities they had for the residents. At home he is either in bed all the day. Or sitting in his recliner watching TV. I think that having different things to do throughout the day will be better for him. So, the guilt has left me because I know I've done the best that I can for him, I just can't do it for much longer. Sending a great big hug because I've been in your situation and it SUCKS!
If you husband is angry and hurt because of the change in his living situation, try and be patient and accepting of his emotions. Let him adjust and learn to rely on his new caregivers.
Now is the time to care for yourself - go out and linger over coffee; lose yourself in a good book; have a spa day. Also remember, you did nothing wrong. You chose the best solution you could.
May you and your family be blessed with peace, grace, love.
I can't help you get over your guilt, but I assure you that your guilt is misplaced. Think about replacing it with the sense of relief from the primary responsibility of his care, and the gratitude that you had the strength to care for him until you no longer could.
You say you're tired of hearing people say how patient and caring we're suppose to be. Those are people who haven't had the experience of being a dementia caregiver. So what do you do? You ignore it. You know the toll it takes.
You are fulfilling your vows of "in sickness and in health" by doing what will be best for your husband. Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you are automatically gifted with the knowledge to be a full-time medical expert and caregiver, so you are doing what is truly best for him.
It's OK to feel guilty and sad, but it isn't a sign that you're a bad person. Just allow yourself those feelings and work your way through them.
So please don't beat yourself up. If you're at the point where your husband requires more care than you can provide, then you must do what is best for you both. I wish you peace in your heart.