By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
One thing your could try with your Mom is telling her that up to 40% of family caregivers, who have no help, die leaving behind the love one they were caring. Those are NOT good odds..... and what would Dad do if she is no longer there? Maybe Mom never thought of that.
Perhaps a report to APS that she is refusing to give him his medication unless he is at the table will be a wake up call?
Now the softer approach. It is likely your Mum is scared. She and Dad have been married for 50 years or more, They have lived in the same house 50 years. What will happen to her when he is gone? Has she ever lived alone? Are you and your brother thinking she will leave her home and move closer to the two of you? What about her social circle?
When this happens (and sadly, your folks are pretty young to be dealing with this). it's a hard call as to what to do to help, and not make it worse, or offend your folks.
Honestly? Until MOM decides she cannot care for dad the way he needs, you are pretty much hamstrung. We battled with mother to get care for daddy, and it was pointless until SHE decided she couldn't handle him.
DO NOT move them into your homes...wait this out a little longer and then maybe bring up having help come.
Are you and brother going over there all week to help? Stop doing that entirely (I know this sounds so mean) but if she burns out and cannot care for dad, maybe she has to hit rock bottom before she can see what a couple of CG's could do to make her life better. I'd let neighbors know that they are w/o help--don't abandon them entirely.
My MIL DESPERATELY needs daily help. BUT, my SIL goes up to her house daily ( a 45 minute drive) and does whatever MIL needs/wants. She will not allow anyone in her home, so SIL just gives in. She's almost totally burned out & now MIL has told my DH to 'go to H3ll, she has only SIL to help. We're just waiting for her to fall again and wind up, like last year, in the hospital and then rehab. Her stubbornness will be her downfall.
Good Luck.