By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or
[email protected] to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
*If I am consenting on behalf of someone else, I have the proper authorization to do so. By clicking Get My Results, you agree to our
Privacy Policy. You also consent to receive calls and texts, which may be autodialed, from us and our customer communities. Your consent is not a condition to using our service. Please visit our
Terms of Use. for information about our privacy practices.
She had ALZ and it broke my heart to watch her mind deteriorate.
I agree to let her lead in the conversation and to go along with it. it’s hard to know what they will accept or reject.
It’s more important for you to fully accept that you have done your best by allowing your father to be cared for by a professional staff.
I hope you find peace knowing that he is safe in his environment.
Take comfort in knowing that he lived a full life before his sad and unfortunate decline.
Understand that you don’t have the power to change any of this.
It is heartbreaking and no one is making light of his situation.
Your unrest is a normal transition that many go through.
It took me quite awhile before I could go see my godmother without crying.
We are grieving for the person that has lost the ability to reason and communicate with us as they did before.
My Mom [98] use to think her nursing home was a motel and she was visiting the State where she was raised. Mom use to ask to go visit her parents, so I would say "they are visiting the old country" and Mom was pleased that her parents were on vacation. I had to be quick on the draw whenever Mom asked to go visit her sisters, the fib had to match their life style.
It may be helpful FOR YOU, to attempt to connect, for the time being, with someone in his care staff who works with him more often than others.
What you are doing to yourself just now is actually empathizing much too much with what you assume he’d be thinking, IF HE WERE WELL. The painful fact is, that he is NOT able to reason and comprehend and recall, so your painful thinking is mostly yours, and likely very little his. Confusion yes, suffering? NO.
It is very VERY unusual indeed for a new resident NOT to want to be picked up, taken home, taken to the place he’d left, or thinks he’d left.
The job of the loving, heart broken caregiver who has realized that for his safety and personal welfare HE HAD TO BE REMOVED from his previous environment and relocated to the BEST SITUATION that you, that Caregiver, could find, IS TO STAY IN HIS MOMENT.
You must consciously commit to leaving him be for the first few days, because he WILL expect you to “save” him, and your common sense knows that you have done what HAD TO BE DONE, with love and respect for him.
I LOATHE the coyness of “the white lie”, so if you do too, refocus on staying with him, in HIS thoughts, where HE is. DON’T struggle to “explain”. If he thinks he’s staying in a hotel? Go with that. It has been a helpful and comforting “place” for my LO.
If he’s restless- “too cold” “too late” “not ready”.......WHATEVER GIVES HIM a few moments of peace.
AND- for yourself, limit the attempts to contact him. Everything that was difficult a year ago is many times worse because of the virus.
In a couple days, ask the staff if there’s anything they think he might want to hear about in a phone call, then give it a shot.
Always remember- you suffer in this stage far more than he. Take GOOD CARE of yourself. Many of us have felt as you do, and we understand.
With dementia reasoning won’t work. I tried having heart to heart talks with mom about why she was there, she could get it for the moment but by lunch she was asking again, thus the fibs at that point on.